By
AS
PG-13 for emotional intensity
“Three weeks and
counting,” Chin’s long suffering comment as he entered
the office with Duke Lukela close at his heels.
Duke’s response was a slight nod.
Both detectives had been with the team a long time and knew that the
planning and subterfuge that had already probably been
quietly started would be on the front burner from this point on. Duke glanced in the cubicle nearest
McGarrett’s office, a little surprised to find it empty. He nudged Chin and pointed it out.
“Man, I know Danny
always goes all out with these birthday plans. But he better shake it and get
in here or he’s gonna have some major pilikia to deal with as well as birthday
plans.”
As if on cue, the
office door opened and Danny Williams walked in. Heading to his own office, he accidentally
bumped into the corner of the secretary’s desk.
This earned him a little good natured ribbing
from Duke who couldn’t help himself.
“Hey Danny – aren’t you getting a bit old for the late night routine and barely making it to work on time?”
Dan turned
confused. He wasn’t
sure what Duke meant. But
before he could question him, Chin cut in.
“Out late? No, it’s called
birthday planning too late into the night and too early this morning
probably. Going to get the boss good
this year, aren’t you?”
Williams was saved from answering by the sudden arrival of Steve
McGarrett as the door opened and the taller, dark haired man blew through the
front office. He spared a glance at his
three detectives and an eyebrow went up.
“Nothing to do
this morning?”
In lieu of a reply,
Chin ducked into his cubicle, intent on at least appearing
to be busy lest the boss find something that would occupy way more of his time
than he wanted. Duke moved a little
slower to his office as he wanted to see if Steve was suspicious
of whatever Danny was planning. Just at
the door to his office, Steve turned.
“Danno, come on in
here when you’ve got a minute.”
“Sure, Steve.”
McGarrett’s reasoning for wanting Williams in his office to talk was
two-fold, business and personal. There
were cases that he needed to go over with his second in command, but even more
importantly, he needed to try to ferret out clues as to what Williams was
planning this year in regards to his birthday.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to find out much,
if anything. However, he needed to try
anyway. Once Williams joined him, Steve
pursued the birthday questioning first.
As was expected, Dan played wide-eyed innocent and Steve shook his head
in mock frustration. He would never let
Danno know, but over the years he had come to
anticipate and enjoy the celebrations that his friend engineered. Well at least he knew he did not have that
much longer to wait to find out what the plot was this year.
****
“GGGGRRRRRRR.”
Williams was
irritated and growing even more so later in the day as he sat in his office
trying to wrap up the paperwork on the latest Christmas bandit. It wasn’t the case
he was frustrated with. They had been able to crack this one fairly
quickly, holding down the number of victimized holiday shoppers. No, the subject of his irritation was the
headache that had plagued him through out the day. He knew he had probably already surpassed the
alleged limit on aspirin but he needed to do something to get rid of it.
“Well I see at least
this time you’re paying the price for burning the candle at both ends the last
couple of days, Danno.” Steve McGarrett couldn’t help the joking comment as he leaned against the
doorframe of Dan’s office, a small grin flashing across his face.
“Whoever said
anything about burning the candle at both ends?
Can’t a guy simply have a headache without everyone he knows jumping to
conclusions?”
The annoyed retort
surprised McGarrett, put him on the defensive.
“Hey I was just joking. What put
you in a mood?”
Williams swallowed
the pills by themselves, grimacing a little at the awful taste they left in his
mouth. He opened a desk drawer and threw
the pill bottle into it before answering McGarrett.
“Had a headache
since I got up. Gets to you after a while, you know?” Dan glanced up. He knew Steve could relate to headaches
considering the stress he endured as head of Five-O. Yet he was also cognizant of the thought that
he should not have snapped at his friend.
“Sorry, Steve.
I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
McGarrett waved him
off, assuring that the apology wasn’t necessary. “Thought I’d see if you
wanted to get some dinner.”
“Thanks for the
offer. But actually I just want to go home and go to bed for the next week or
so.”
McGarrett’s brow
furrowed. This was not something he had
expected and was very out of character for his friend. “Are you getting sick?”
Williams insisted he
was fine, just tired. Worn out actually,
but he would never admit that to McGarrett.
He was positive there was nothing wrong.
Just an overdose of all of the stress that usually
went with the approaching holidays.
Yet when he finally got home that night and lay down, he was surprised
at the way the world seemed to spin around him.
He didn’t normally think about it, but maybe he
was getting sick. He decided to wait a
few days before he did anything about it.
For
McGarrett, Dan’s refusal on dinner meant that he had to scramble to cancel
previously made plans. The dinner invite
had been an excuse to get Dan to where the rest of the staff was waiting. After Dan left, McGarrett went back to his
office and made several phone calls – the main one being to the restaurant. He ended up speaking to Duke who was amazed
that Danny had simply wanted to go home.
He questioned whether or not Danny was trying
to circumvent the birthday celebration.
Steve had to admit that he wasn’t sure, but
that it did not appear that way.
Restless, McGarrett moved to the lanai and then back by his desk. Finally, he reached for his jacket and
slipped it on. As he reached to switch
off the desk lamp, his eyes fell on the calendar. Not wanting to give too much away this year,
in the evening part of the day he had simply written
the letter ‘D’ there. Now he tapped it
with his finger.
“Hauoli la
****
Danny slammed the
apartment door shut behind him, frustrated with himself. He’d felt fine when
he had first gotten out of bed this morning.
But by the time he had returned from jogging
with Steve and gotten ready for work his head was pounding and his right leg
felt strangely numb. By mid afternoon,
he had felt like a complete klutz as he tripped over a few objects that no one
but he could see. Then the proverbial
icing on the cake as McGarrett decided that, since it was fairly
quiet, it was a good day to run through preliminary re-qualifying at the
shooting range. The pistol had been so
heavy in his hand and his score showed that there had been problems. Steve had looked at him questioningly but
seemed to accept his lame explanation.
His hand trembled and felt weak for the remainder of the day – a fact
that he had barely been able to hide from McGarrett. Weary to the bone, he collapsed on the sofa,
not even bothering to open the lanai doors as he usually did. Two days prior when he had
snapped at McGarrett over his headache he had silently decided to call a doctor
if he still felt ill in a few days.
He drifted off to sleep after deciding that he needed to call a doctor
in the morning.
****
He ran down the steps
of the office building to the parking lot.
Steve was going to be in a rage when he finally got to the Palace. But then he had not
expected the doctor’s appointment to take as long as it had. That was what he got for not going to Doc
Bergman. Yet he had picked this unknown
doctor because he wasn’t Bergman, wasn’t in any way affiliated with Five-O, did
not have a chance of knowing McGarrett personally or telling him that his
second in command had been in to see him before Williams was ready to tell him
himself. Not having seen too many
doctors outside of Bergman for the past several years, Dan had been surprised
by the length of time, amount of questions & tests the doctor had asked and
done. He hadn’t
seemed very concerned about anything though so now all Dan had to do was wait
for the results to come in sometime during the next seventy-two hours. Well, he figured he had waited almost four
days since the start of the headaches so he shouldn’t
be too uptight over waiting another seventy-two hours to find out their
cause. He got in his car and hurriedly
set out for the Palace.
McGarrett sat at his
desk working his way through a pile of paperwork. Outwardly, he appeared to be nothing more
than the calm efficient paper-pusher he felt he spent most of his time
being. On the inside, on this morning he
was like an ancient Irish clansman with the fire of his temper burning bright
inside his gut. It was now approaching
A knock sounded on
his office door and in walked Williams at a fairly quick
pace.
“Sorry, Steve. Had an appointment
early this morning that took way longer than I thought it would.”
“Everything
all right?”
McGarrett forced his
voice to be calm and level. This was not
the time for what might be an unnecessary confrontation. He observed Danny as unobtrusively as one
cop could another. There did not appear
to be cause for concern.
“Sure – as far as I know anyway.”
Lord, he hoped there was nothing wrong. For now, he would keep his concerns to himself. One of them worried at a time was more than enough! Plus he did not want the constant worry and questions that telling McGarrett would net him. Over the years the head of Five-O had become Dan’s closest friend, a relationship with emotions that he knew Steve reciprocated. However while having your boss also as your best friend had a few advantages, the biggest disadvantage was Steve’s tendency to ‘flip out’ whenever Danny faced a dangerous situation or was injured. He would do anything to circumvent that concern. Although he wasn’t sure what would be worse – having his friend worry about him or the wrath he would incur when Steve learned of the secret he kept. He’d take the chance and cross his fingers that there would end up being no reason for the revelation.
McGarrett succinctly
brought his second in command up to date with the goings on of the morning, but
the phone rang before he had a chance to ask for an update from him.
“Yes, Lani – ok tell
the chief we’ll be there shortly.”
He stood and blindly
reached behind him to grab his suit jacket off its hook. Starting around the desk, he motioned for
Williams to join him as they went to the crime scene of yet another holiday
bandit.
****
Barely forty-eight
hours later and in pursuit of yet another holiday criminal, McGarrett
and Williams entered the Palace at a quick pace. Danny found he had to
practically run up the stairs to keep up with the steam-rolling
boss. Annoyance made Steve even faster
paced than usual but it was understandable.
The bandit had struck again early in the morning right under the
watchful noses of HPD. McGarrett already
knew that the press was going to have a field day with this case. That would mean only one thing – heat from above. It was
something he was used to but not something he liked.
They entered Five-O’s
offices and started towards McGarrett’s office.
As they passed by the other offices, Steve called to Duke and Chin Ho to
join them. Lani stopped the men as they
started to pass her desk, handing a couple of messages to Steve and one to Dan.
“The woman acted like
this was important, Danny.”
He glanced quickly
down at the paper and noticed the name and phone number of the doctor’s office.
His brow furrowed as he wondered what the doctor wanted this time. Shoving it into his pocket, he endured the
hoots and snickers of his co-workers as they relentlessly teased him. Looking over
at McGarrett, Dan saw an eyebrow arch and a questioning look appear on his
face. He knew that too much had been
going on of late with what this doctor expected from
him. He would need a plausible
explanation soon if he wanted to avoid the jokes from Chin and Duke as well as
endless friendly interrogation from Steve.
He wasn’t sure which one he was more anxious to
avoid.
“Can it wait?”
“Sure, Steve.”
“Then let’s go,
gentlemen.”
****
The next morning
Dan’s phone rang in his apartment just as he was preparing to leave for the
Palace.
“Mr. Williams, this is
Caught off guard, Dan
was unsure how to react until he remembered he had never called the doctor’s
office back the previous day. This must
have been what they had wanted to talk to him about. He wondered what it was for and why, now wishing he had put Steve off long enough to return
the call. For some unknown reason, he
found himself stuttering as he explained that there was no way he could be
there at that time. Fortunately
the person on the other end of the phone was extremely accommodating and was
able to change the time to four-thirty in the afternoon. He assured her that he would be there for the
appointment at the same time he silently wondered what he was going to tell
McGarrett this time.
Late that evening,
Dan opened the door to his apartment, completely exhausted. It had been over thirteen hours since he had
left it that morning. Somedays he
wondered why he bothered with the monthly rent.
It would be cheaper to somehow store a mattress
at the Palace. Stumbling as he moved
into the living room, he shed his suit jacket, laying it on the closest
chair. He thought about food, realizing
he had not eaten anything since grabbing an early lunch. In the same instant
he acknowledged that he really wasn’t hungry.
Three days – that’s how long the technician at
the hospital said it would take before the test results were back. He knew he was too weary to worry about much
of anything at the moment. Walking into his bedroom, stumbling a bit
because it felt like he was losing feeling in his leg, Dan collapsed on the bed
and fell asleep.
****
Danny sat in the
doctor’s actual office this time, not one of the examining rooms. As he waited he
thought back to the phone call he had made to the Palace early this
morning. Steve had not been very happy
with the news that he would be running late because of a last minute
appointment. Williams had not told him
what kind of an appointment it was but had promised the boss that he would explain
it all later as well as make up for all of the missed time. It was now four
days after the CAT scan and he hoped this appointment would be the end of the
mess of all of the half-truths he had been forced to
tell. He did not know how much longer he
could keep the truth hidden from Steve, Chin and Duke. For his part, McGarrett had simply reiterated
that he needed his second in command in the office as soon as possible so that
they could go over ideas for nabbing the latest
holiday bandit to aggravate his ulcers.
Finally, the doctor
entered and moved to sit down behind his desk.
He picked up a manila file folder, studying it carefully for several
minutes.
“Well, Mr. Williams,
the test results are all back, including the emergency ones we had you come in
for yesterday. You have what we call
meningiomas.
“In English, Doctor,
please.” Unconsciously, Danny rubbed at
his hairline, trying in vain to ease the headache that had again woke him up during the night. It had intensified as the hours passed and he
knew it would only get worse throughout the day.
“A brain
tumor.”
Danny sat there,
stunned into muteness, unable to react, not knowing how to. Tumors – people usually died from those. He briefly wondered if he was about to be
given his own death sentence and thought about how much time he might have
left. How was he going to explain THIS to Steve? The question leaped into his mind. He found he could not answer it. His head now also pounded from the thumping
of his heart.
“Now the good news is
that from the placement of yours, we believe that it can be completely removed
with surgery. There is, of course,
always some risk with brain surgery, though so you need to carefully think
about all of the…”
Danny stopped
listening. A brain
tumor, surgery, risks, alternatives…
“I need to go. I’m late for a meeting.”
“Mr. Williams, there
are many things we still need to discuss. “
“No, I’m late as it
is. I need to think about this. I’ll call you tomorrow with a decision.”
The doctor was aghast. This was typically not a
reaction that he saw in most of his patients. Didn’t this man
realize he had very few options available?
Didn’t he hear him tell him that the surgery
had already been scheduled? Didn’t he understand that there were other decisions that
needed to be made, forms that needed to be completed before the surgery, before
the tumor got worse and he was unable to make a conscious decision if it came
to that? Hurriedly the doctor wrote out
several prescriptions, explaining what they were for – pain relief,
anti-inflammatory, and seizure medicine if it came to that point.
Completely unnerved,
Dan grabbed the small pieces of paper and fled the room.
Arriving at the Palace, he encountered the glowering face
of Steve McGarrett. Yet shock still
insulated his thoughts and emotions so he did not react the way he normally
would have to Steve’s Irish temper. In fact he had nearly no response at all to
the boss – a detail that was not lost on McGarrett but simply filed away to be
discussed at a later time. Danny, Duke and Chin Ho joined Steve in his
office to discuss plans for nabbing the thief who had
turned holiday shopping into a miserable experience for most of
“Gentlemen, we need to discuss who is going to handle Christmas – especially if we don’t get our hands on this guy before hand.”
Chin and Duke
uneasily looked at each. Neither one wanted to be on call that day, preferring instead to
enjoy the holiday with their wives and children even if the children
were nearly grown. However
both knew that it was not fair to put the entire burden of holiday coverage on
the boss. Steve routinely covered the
holiday so that his two married detectives could enjoy the day and his second
in command could fly east to visit his aunt if the caseload permitted.
Williams, who had
barely been paying attention throughout the meeting, focused on what he had
heard the doctor say earlier about the surgery.
He thought about how he had said that the surgery was already scheduled
for December Thirtieth. He thought about the various prescriptions
that he had been given, about how miserable he had
been feeling and how he really just wanted to go and crawl under a rock for a
few days. Instantly he knew he would not
be traveling anywhere this particular holiday.
Glancing at Steve, he realized how tired he looked and knew what he
needed to do for his friend.
“I’ll cover it.”
“Danno –“
“No big deal to
me. I’m not going anywhere this year so
you guys take the day off.”
McGarrett nodded in
agreement and the other two sighed in relief.
Privately Steve wondered what had made his friend decide not to make the
trip this year. He’d
have to remember to ask him about it later.
As busy as they seemed to be this year, he wasn’t
sure when he would actually have the time to talk to his friend. He hoped it was soon. There was a certain lack of talkativeness
about Danno suddenly. His second in
command usually waxed verbatim about any number of things. Lately he never seemed to be around to talk
after everyone left – a fact that was beginning to irritate McGarrett.
****
As the four men
entered the office a collective sigh of relief could
be heard. The latest holiday bandit was
finally in HPD lockup and just in the nick of
time. Last minute holiday shoppers and
early revelers would be safe from the annoyance. Entering McGarrett’s office, each man
collapsed in to a chair. No one said a
word. Each knew the relief that everyone
felt. Finally Steve spoke, telling the
team to go home. No one argued with the
boss. Chin and Duke left quickly before
he could change his mind. Steve glanced
at Dan who was still sitting on the sofa.
“In a hurry?”
Williams shook his
head in answer.
Steve slowly rose and
walked over to the lanai doors, opening them.
“Join me?”
Danny reluctantly rose and followed him out to the lanai. He leaned against the railing, silent, squinting his eyes in the slowly setting late afternoon sun. McGarrett glanced over at his second in command. Danno had been so quiet all day it was almost unnerving to McGarrett. He found himself not sure how to start a conversation with his friend.
“Well I guess another one bites the dust so to speak.”
Williams made a noise
in response as he wondered how soon he could get out of the office and go
home. The last several days had
exhausted him; his leg felt like it was growing number each day and his arm
trembled uncontrollably whenever he was not consciously trying to control
it.
Steve shifted,
turning to face his friend. He strove
for a conversational tone, to not sound like he was
interrogating Danny. “So what made you
decide to work Christmas? You know if
you want, you could still go visit Clara and I’ll cover the day.”
“I said I’d do it.”
Dan briefly regretted his short terse response, knowing it was unnecessary and also likely to get Steve to start asking questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. He had resolved to not tell Steve what was going on until it became an absolute necessity. Snapping at his friend unnecessarily was not the way to hide what was wrong. It would only serve to fuel McGarrett’s insatiable curiosity – not something Dan wanted to spark. Explaining things to Steve – Dan shuddered every time he tried to think of a way to do it, which was why he was attempting to deal with this particular issue without the support of his closest friend.
Momentarily, startled by the abruptness of the reply, Steve at first
did not know how to respond and then found that he needed to quell his surging
irritation. Danno never had the attitude
with him that he was showing of late. What was
going on? All he had wanted to do was give him the option of leaving town
and if Williams still insisted on covering the day, then he had planned on arranging something so that they could celebrate the
holiday together. Not normally a
sentimental person, he simply blamed his mood on the season. However a little voice in his head told Steve
that he needed to proceed very calmly and carefully.
“Sounds like
it’s going to be a pretty quiet day. What are you going to do?”
“Haven’t
thought about it. No big deal anyway – just another day.”
Williams barely knew
the specifics of what they were talking about, did not realize that he had
snapped out a reply. All he could
concentrate on was the nausea that had suddenly cropped up. He knew he needed to get out of the office
soon. His headache was severe enough
that it made his eyes hurt. Lately,
because of the long hours he worked his vision had not been the best – blurring
at times, causing him to see double at other times. He did not remember the doctor mentioning the
complication.
Annoyed beyond any
measure of control, McGarrett lost his temper.
“What is going on with you lately? It’s like you don’t
care about anything. Or at least that’s the way you’re acting.”
Steve instantly
regretted lashing out at Danny. It was
not something that either one normally did to the other. Both understood the pressure involved in
their jobs and usually gave each other a lot of leeway when it came to stress,
habitually going out of their way to avoid an emotional eruption with each
other, even though both knew that it was possible to do so and have the other
understand where it was coming from.
“Maybe I don’t,” Dan’s quick comeback was as angry as the question had been. “Maybe I just want you to leave me alone for once.”
Dan’s voice was both aggravated and resigned. His fists gripped the railing before he turned and stormed back into the office, tripping over who knows what as he walked. He was SO tired. He wanted only to go home and take one of those magic little pills that knocked him out to where he did not feel his head hurt. He heard the angry footsteps behind him and sighed, nearly falling yet again over probably nothing.
A hand reached out to grab his arm, breaking his fall. The hand moved across his shoulders, gripping them and holding him steady until he could pretend to have regained his balance. Instinctively, he leaned into the support of that hold and felt it grow tighter, surer.
“What’s wrong, Danno?
Can I help? ”
Watching Williams trip not once but twice had started bells of worry
clanging in his head. The anger he had felt a few minutes prior dissipating as
he felt his friend not only accept but lean into the support he offered. The hair was starting to rise on the back of
McGarrett’s neck. He had an eerie
feeling that something was wrong – very wrong.
When he had first tripped, Steve had instinctively started after
him. Dan tripping for a second time
caused Steve to practically lunge to grab him, helping
to hold him steady for several seconds.
The voice sounded
very close behind him. The sudden
softness of the tone made Dan pause briefly as the
questions tickled something in his mind, a memory. Not remembering why he knew, Williams knew
that any other time he would have caved in to the soft questioning and offer of
assistance. This time
his physical discomfort and growing fear of what was about to happen over rode
all of it. He honestly did not know what
was causing him to act so irrationally – especially towards his friend. Not bothering to answer, just wanting to go
home, Danny pulled away and, without another word walked out
of Steve’s office and left the Palace.
Confused at what was
going on with his second in command, McGarrett returned to the lanai. He observed Williams walking in the parking
lot below and stumble, nearly falling.
Saw him reach out a hand and steady himself against the Mercury. Briefly, he wondered what was going on but
decided that whatever it was had more to do with the
holiday stress then anything else. If
Danno was still this argumentative and obnoxious after
the New Year, then the two of them would need to have a very long chat. There was no way that McGarrett would allow
dissension in the ranks – not on his team.
Not from his second in command, his friend. For the present, he grudgingly decided to let
Williams have the space and solitude he apparently wanted.
****
“Happy
Christmas Eve, everyone!”
The call from the
doorway turned several heads. Faces
broke out in spontaneous smiles and the detectives, including the normally
taciturn boss, rushed forward to greet the visitor.
“Jenny!”
“Knew you
couldn’t stay away, Jenny.”
“Merry Christmas, Jenny.”
“Merry
Christmas, Steve. So does anyone miss me?”
“I do!” Lani’s instant
response drew chuckles from the three men in the room.
The small holiday gathering was merrier with Jenny’s surprise visit. Even McGarrett found himself staying in the outer office longer than normal. Finally the staff began to drift away to their own celebrations. Soon it was just the three men and Jenny remaining. She broached the subject that had been on her mind since shortly after her arrival.
“Ok, what did you
three do with Danny this year?”
She was surprised to
watch the men’s facial expressions all change.
Chin’s face had become inscrutable and Duke was unable to hide the ire
that had been burning and building in him for several days.
“We didn’t do
anything to him, Jenny. He hasn’t been
around much lately.”
Jenny looked
carefully at both Chin Ho and Duke. She
knew they weren’t kidding but was surprised to see a
lack of concern in their faces. Instead, she saw mild irritation. She turned to Steve and stared at him for a
few minutes. McGarrett’s expression was
blank, carefully neutral and bordering on nearly cold. Even his eyes held no expression or feeling
in them.
“Steve?”
“Don’t worry about it. He’s a grown man, Jenny. I don’t think he needs a mother – or anyone else for that matter.”
The last part of his reply was a flippant whisper that was not supposed to be heard by the others in the room. However from the look on his former secretary’s face, Steve knew she had heard. He strove to assure her that there was nothing to worry about. She found herself appalled at the lack of concern she was witnessing. What had happened to the team in her absence? More importantly, what had happened to the nucleus, the glue that had held the team, the whole office, together for so many years? What had happened to the friendship between McGarrett and Williams?
****
The irritating ring
of the phone roused Williams from a half sleep.
He glanced at his watch before answering – almost
“Williams”
“Danny, its Aunt Clara. Merry Christmas!”
He nearly groaned out loud, not really wanting to talk to her at the moment. Fortunately, she had very busy social calendar for the day but wanted to call since he had not been able to make the trip over as per the norm. She hoped he wasn’t working that hard. Danny assured her that he wasn’t and then promised that he was not spending the day alone as she feared. He was getting together later in the afternoon with McGarrett. She couldn’t stop from commenting that she hoped it was for some relaxation and not for work. She hung up shortly after that.
Danny ended up getting what he wanted for Christmas – a very quiet day with no interruption from work. Thankful for that, he never left the apartment. It would not have been a very smart idea. He spent the day on the sofa experiences growing waves of dizziness and nausea, had even gone as far as taking an extra pain pill as well as the anti-seizure drug that had been prescribed. He drifted in and out of sleep for most of the day, dreaming disembodied scenes that made no sense to his muddled, drugged mind.
Steve let the phone
fall back onto its cradle, perplexed. He’d already spoken with dispatch earlier in the afternoon
and had known it was a very quiet day – so quiet that Williams had not gotten a
single call. That meant he should have
been home, should have answered the phone.
Unless, of course, he had gone out for some holiday
cheer but a quick call back to HPD confirmed that the Five-O second in command
had not changed his contact number for the afternoon. That meant he was home. Then why didn’t he
answer the phone?
McGarrett moved out to the lanai, impatiently snapping his fingers. He knew in his gut that something was wrong, had been wrong with Danno for a while now. With the knowledge that Williams did not think it necessary to share whatever was bugging him came both ire and amusement. The ire was automatic. Its roots buried deep in years of friendship and the incredulous thought that Danny apparently didn’t trust him. McGarrett argued the thought down, knowing that the truth was probably simpler than that. He knew his second in command well. Williams was never able to keep a secret from him for long except of course his yearly surprise parties. Steve grinned a little to himself, amused at the elaborate ruses his friend managed to concoct each year. Soon enough this year’s schemes would be revealed and/or Danno would spill whatever was currently bugging him. He fought down a building urge to drive over to Danno’s place to simply check on him and see for himself that everything was fine. Finally, Steve leaned back in his chair, somewhat content to simply enjoy his island paradise.
****
Williams walked out of the office. It was the day after Christmas – even though he had been on call he had been able to sleep most of the day. Then why had he been SO tired all day? The enormity of what was about to happen in a few days weighed heavily on his mind. In fact it was all he could think about. Funny how none of the people upstairs in that office thought there was anything wrong. Not even his closest friend thought there was something wrong. He did not think he was hiding it THAT well.
“Danny, wait.”
He turned and saw
Duke coming down the stairs of the Palace.
Wondering what Duke wanted, Dan hoped it wasn’t
something too involved. The stress of
the last several days was beginning to catch up with him. He was tired, wanted nothing more than to lay
down, and for some reason his right leg felt weak as if it could no longer
support his weight.
“Just wanted
to know if you needed Chin and me to do something for the thirtieth this year. Or
do you have everything under control? “
‘The thirtieth?” Briefly
Dan feared that the detective knew what was going on but then realized that
there was something else happening that the Hawaiian was referring to.
“You know, “Duke
continued. “I don’t know who looks forward to this day more – you or Steve!”
Dan sighed. He had no idea what Lukela was talking
about. Although with the stress of the
anticipation he supposed that he really would be glad
when the thirtieth was over.
“You know, you and
Chin keep talking about the 30th and looking at me like something is
going on and I really wish I knew WHAT you were talking about.” The angry tone of Dan’s retort had been on
purpose. He was completely sick of the
way his ‘friends’ thought they knew what was going on and in a self pitying
spurt, wished someone would explain what the 30th meant as well as
actually care enough to coerce an explanation out of him.
Duke stared,
stunned into near silence by the tone of Dan’s reply. As Dan moved to his
car, he tripped over what must have been a rock, but Duke couldn’t
see it. Before Duke could ask if
everything was all right, Dan got into the car and drove
away. Several seconds later,
Lukela was joined near the stairs by Chin Ho Kelly. Duke turned and told Chin that he had spoken
to Dan and had a feeling that there was nothing planned for the thirtieth.
“Danny always plans
something for Steve’s birthday!”
“Doesn’t sound like
he’s doing it this year, Chin.”
“Well I wish we would
have known that before now. Kind of hard to plan something to top what he usually does
on this short of notice. Why didn’t he
say something?”
Duke assured Chin
that he really had no idea what was going on but then commented that Dan was
acting very strangely. Chin agreed that
he too had noticed the strange behavior and then suggested that maybe it was a
ruse to cover birthday plans.
“Not this year, I
fear.”
****
Late the next
afternoon, Danny sat in his office knowing that he could not put off the
inevitable any longer. He’d been avoiding the office since he got back from the doctor
late this morning. He’d
known from the way Lani had acted when he came in that Steve wasn’t happy with
his hastily scribbled note from the previous evening that he would be in before
lunch today.
She had confided that
McGarrett had questioned her for reasons and had not been happy that she had
not known where he was and why. Lani had
neglected to mention that the boss had also asked if anything strange had been
going on of late. But
it wasn’t like she would have been revealing anything. She had told Steve that she
had not noticed anything unusual but then what was she? Their secretary? Or their
babysitter? It wasn’t
up to her to keep track of their comings and goings and what was going on in
their lives outside of the office. Jenny
might have been a mother hen but she certainly wasn’t. Yet Lani had not mentioned any of that to
McGarrett or Williams. She was too
professional for that. She had simply
forewarned Williams to expect a lecture or questions at some point in
time.
Now Dan was in his
office – everyone else had already left for the day but he remained. His objective was two-fold. First he needed to
catch up on as much of the ongoing paperwork on his desk as possible. Second he had
finally decided that he could no longer put off telling Steve what had been
going on the past several weeks. He
needed to in order to fully explain the contents of
the envelope he intended to give to McGarrett.
So engrossed in his
thoughts as he stared blindly down at the papers on his desk, he never heard
the door open in the office until a shadow crossed his desk. He looked up and at Steve McGarrett, noting a
not very pleased expression on the boss’ face.
“Hi, Steve.”
“Here kind of late,
aren’t you? Or are you just making up
for some of the time you’ve been missing of late?”
Dan winced at the
tone of the voice. He’d
known the subject of his morning absences would eventually come up, but he had
wanted to be the one to bring them up.
“I wanted to talk to
you about that.”
An eyebrow arched up
nearly to the dark hairline. “Really?”
Uh-oh – Dan thought to himself. Steve was really upset about it. He had not planned on that. He’d kept Steve in the dark about what was going on because he had not wanted him to worry, to go into his ballistic, insanely over protective mode the way he sometimes did. Perhaps he had been wrong. He knew instantly that he needed to level with his friend – tell Steve everything that had been going on since the beginning of the month without sugar coating a detail. For reasons that he could not define, he again felt abject fear over the notion of telling Steve. As he considered the option, Dan felt his stress level start to climb.
“Yeah, I…”
He stopped. His head was starting to pound again. He’d noticed it now
happened with growing regularity. His
hand was starting to tremble also. Three
days – he only had to make it three more days!
Placing his hand underneath the desk, he glanced at Steve. The darkness of the blue eyes meant the Irish
temper was up. He sighed, knowing there
was little he could do to prevent an eruption, deciding quickly that he could
not tell Steve the truth tonight. Briefly he wondered if he would ever be able to tell him.
“Never mind,
Steve.”
McGarrett’s anger calmed a bit at the resigned, nearly morose tone in Dan’s voice. Other alarms began to ring inside of him instead. He could not figure out why the hair was practically standing up on the back of his neck. He abruptly forced down the ire over what he saw happening over the last month and struggled to verbally reach out towards his second in command.
“Danno, look, if
something’s going on and you need some time –“
“Everything’s shaka, Steve. It won’t happen again.” Dan cut him off, suddenly anxious for the entire train of thought to disappear.
“Ok. Night Danno,” Steve nodded and left the
office.
The nagging doubt
that something was wrong sang like an annoying alarm clock in his head. He pushed it down. Danno had said that everything was fine and
Williams had never been able to keep a secret or hide almost any type of
emotion from McGarrett. He grinned a
little in spite of himself. Besides he had a sneaking suspicion that whatever
was going on with Williams had to do with his own approaching birthday. Three days – it would all be over and he
could find out what the plan had been in three more days.
****
McGarrett sat at his
desk drumming his fingers on the file he was ‘working’ on. Where was he?! After ten o’clock in the morning and his
second in command was not in the office yet!
Both of his cars had been at the apartment when Steve had stopped by to
see if he planned on jogging but there had been no answer when Steve had rang
the door bell.
Now with Williams running late yet again, he had to admit that he was
more than a little frustrated with the new attitude and the prevalent lack of
respect for the job, the team, the stature of Five-O and, grudgingly he
admitted to himself, Dan’s sudden lack of respect for Steve.
A knock at his door
preceded Duke’s entrance into the office.
Steve forced himself to pay attention to the Hawaiian detective. Still irritated, he watched Duke walk out of
the office and then reached over and picked up the phone, dialing a number from
memory. It rang several times before
there was the sound of something falling or being knocked
down at the other end. His
fingers drummed an ever-quickening pattern on the desktop. Finally –
“-lo…”
“Danno! Do you KNOW what
time it is?” Steve’s patience was being severely tested.
“ate?”
“No, not eight – try
after eleven AM. Did you plan on joining
us today?”
There was a long
pause. In his mind’s eye, McGarrett
could picture his second in command processing both the words and the tone,
coming to the realization that Steve was seriously upset and he was in
trouble.
“ow
m ay” The mumbled response.
Irish temper boiling,
he didn’t reply but simply tossed the handset back on
its cradle. He briefly wondered if Dan
had been out late the previous evening.
His voice had sounded strange, like he was
having difficulty speaking. Rather than
alarm him, the thought only fueled his rage as he assumed that the scuttlebutt
of Dan’s new girlfriend that he had heard around the office was correct.
A short time later, Dan arrived but stayed as far away from McGarrett as possible. The two men barely spoke for most of the afternoon. Lukela and Kelly left the office early, each coming up with a plausible excuse for the boss. Both were on their way to different areas of town as they scrounged together a birthday party for the boss. It had been Duke’s idea, one that Chin had fought at first. He had been certain that Danny was planning something and did not even want to let them in on it this year, but Lukela was adamant. He was as certain that there were no plans in motion and they, at least, had to come up with something so as not to make it seem like the birthday had been completely forgotten.
Dan approached
Steve’s office, envelope in hand this time instead of in his jacket. It was now or never he had
decided. He knocked on the closed door
and entered, finding Steve at his desk working his way through a seemingly
endless amount of paperwork.
“Got a minute,
Steve.”
“Not much more than
that. What’s up?” McGarrett heard Williams enter the office but
forced himself to not look up. He did not want to admit to even himself how
much Williams’ new attitude and habits were bothering –no, how much they hurt
him. Maybe if he could appear busy…
“I wanted to talk to you about yesterday – and this morning.”
“Yesterday. Would that be the
promise you made about your late arrivals and mysterious absences being over? “
“Steve, I don’t know
what I said…” Dan was honestly confused.
He remembered briefly talking to McGarrett before he left the office the
night before but did not remember promising him anything. Why did everyone always act like he promised them something but then never said what the
promise was? While immeasurably
frustrating, Dan found it equally terrifying that he no longer remembered conversations
from the previous day. ‘Just another
item on the list to be worried about – when I remember how to worry,’ he
thought.
“Judging from my
having to wake you up this morning, whatever you said didn’t mean anything.”
Irish temper flaring
past the hurt, Steve barely noticed that he had been drumming the pen on his
desk in a steady rhythm. He rose,
barreling around to the front of his desk.
“Look, Danno.”
Abruptly he paused for several minutes then he roughly took Danny by the arm and pulled him out on to the lanai. He’d had the doors open for fresh air and the open, peaceful feeling the lanai lent to the office. Now he was hoping the peace would help him maintain a cool head with his detective. McGarrett had been vacillating between his anger, hurt and frustration over the ‘new’ Dan and the fear and worry that there was actually something wrong, or something going on with his friend. He hoped that confronting Dan and asking him point blank would give him some no-nonsense answers.
“Is there anything
wrong? Something that
you aren’t telling me about for some reason?”
“Yeah, boss, I’m going to die in two days.”
The thought flashed
through Danny’s mind. Williams found he
needed to switch the envelope from one hand to the other because his right arm
had begun to shake uncontrollably again.
He briefly wished he had brought his pills with him. The cheap over the counter ones he usually
took at the office were no longer working.
The switch with the
envelope caught McGarrett’s attention.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing – don’t
worry about it. Not important.” The words spilled from his mouth without
thought. After he’d
spoken them he wondered at the reason. He’d promised himself that he was going to explain
everything to Steve. He had to. If he was going to give him the envelope,
then he knew that he couldn’t just hand it to him and
expect him to understand. Steve deserved more than that from him.
“Are you sure?” Steve
knew he was looking for excuses to justify Danny’s behavior, and a whole lot of
other things, in his mind. ‘Come on, give me a
reason to not be mad at you, aikane. To
not be hurt by this new ‘who cares’ attitude of yours.’
“You were right
earlier. Was out too
late last night. Guess I’m just
not as young as I used to be.” Danny
tried to smile as he put the envelope back in his suit jacket pocket then
escaped the office a few minutes later.
He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Steve was the only person he trusted to
fulfill the request in the envelope. Yet
he couldn’t give it to him without explaining the
reasons behind it and that was something that was proving to be impossible for
Dan to do.
McGarrett returned to his desk to tackle the mountains of paperwork. Anger, frustration and confusion filled him, making it hard to concentrate. He forced the emotions down, finding refuge in his work and the emotional walls that had been built over the years. Conflicting voices argued inside his head, his heart. The logical side kept telling him that he was again learning what happened when he allowed himself to become close to someone, how in the long run he ended up getting hurt by them in some way. His heart argued that Danno would never do something like that to him, at least not intentionally. Years ago after acknowledging the friendship, the bond he had felt towards his second in command he had realized that it had gone way deeper than the bond of friends, the friendship of co-workers. He had admitted to himself that Danno was, in all aspects, ohana, even more he had gone as far as to assign a familial role - kaikaina. It was what made dealing with the strange behavior so difficult, so hurtful for McGarrett.
****
The sun was barely
peaking in through the blinds on the window when a nurse opened the door and
moved soundlessly into the room. Danny,
however, was already awake and had been for a while. D-day had arrived. Although there had really been no turning
back for a while, for some reason there was a certain sense of finality to the
day. The nurse checked several things
including the job that had been done on shaving away
part of his hair the evening before.
Then she gave him a shot that was supposed to make him drowsy.
Dan couldn’t stop himself from asking again if the envelope he
had given the nurse the day before had found its way to the doctor. She assured him that it had but that
it, also, would hopefully not be needed at all. Too soon, two men arrived with a stretcher and quickly loaded
him onto it for the trip upstairs to the operating room. Belatedly he wished he had made the effort to
explain everything to Steve.
Across town a solitary figure jogged down the beach. It was not his normal route but then it had
been a while since he’d run that path. It was a path he usually took when his second
in command joined him and Williams had not done that in several weeks. McGarrett thought back to his churlish
behavior of the last couple of days. He knew that Dan’s mood had been equally
surly but then they each tended to mirror the other’s mood. One of them was reacting to the other and he
felt that Dan was reacting to his mood.
He had not meant to snap at his friend the way he had about all of the
late arrivals and skipped mornings. He
would talk to him today after whatever birthday surprise he had dreamed up this
year, once every one had left and it was just the two of them.
Back at
A little foggy from
the sedative he had been given, Danny thought he nodded in reply but wasn’t sure. A random
thought, one that had bothered him since he woke up, returned. “Doc, what’s the date?”
“December Thirtieth.”
Danny was quickly transferred from the stretcher to the table
inside the operating room. There was
something about that date…He had been reminded of it for the last several weeks
now. Everyone looking
at him funny as if he should know.
The man at his head was speaking, talking about placing the mask over his face and what he had to do. The date – what was it? The mask approached. December Thirtieth – Birthday! It was Steve’s
birthday! He could not believe he had
forgotten it. He always planned a party
– this year he hadn’t.
The mask settled on his nose and mouth.
A voice told him to breathe normally.
He heard someone say that it was 6:00 am. His friend’s birthday…
McGarrett jogged back
up the beach and up to his apartment building.
He turned and watched the sun as it rose in the sky. Another year older. He briefly thought about taking the day off –
that would just frustrate whatever plans his friend had concocted this
year. Steve decided against the
idea. It would be interesting to see
what Danno had dreamed up this year. He
entered his apartment and moved to the bathroom to shower and get ready for
work.
Danny felt his eyes
closing. The fear returned as he
wondered if he would ever wake up from the operation. He knew Steve had been very upset with him
the other day but could not remember why.
He should have talked to McGarrett.
‘Happy birthday, Steve.’
“Ok, Doctor, he’s
under. You can begin.”
Just about to enter
the Mercury for the drive to the office, McGarrett whirled around, hair
practically standing on the back of his neck.
He swore there was someone standing next to him, but there was no one in
the parking area with him. He got in
the vehicle but did not immediately start the engine, pondering what he was
sure he had heard. He was unable to
identify the voice yet it had sounded familiar.
The words had been unmistakable – ‘Happy
Birthday, Steve.’
Unable to come up with a solid explanation for what he had thought he heard, he finally started the engine and drove to the Palace. Hopefully he’d be able to put the eerie start to his birthday behind him soon.
****
“Doctor,
we haven’t been able to bring him out of the anesthesia. In fact it appears he has slipped deeper in
to unconsciousness.”
The surgeon
sighed. This was definitely an unwelcome
complication. He absent-mindedly told
the nurse to contact the physician of record on the patient’s chart to get some
more information on his medical history.
Perhaps if the patient had been under anesthesia many times in the past
then it would not be as easy to bring him to consciousness before administering
the drugs that would keep him in an almost coma state for the next several
hours while his brain healed. Not paying
too much attention to what he was writing, he quickly scribbled the standard
orders that he usually wrote following such an operation as this particular
one. Slapping shut the chart, he left it on the counter and left the room.
The nurse had assured
that she would contact him again once she had her answers. She hung up the phone and reached for the
patient’s chart, chuckling to herself when she noticed that the coroner was listed as personal physician. She had a feeling that she was about to
embark on a wild goose chase for information but picked up the phone anyway to
call the morgue.
“Doctor Bergman
–“
The older gentleman was annoyed at the ringing of his phone. It could only mean more business and that was
something he did not want today. First
he hated excess business around the holidays and more
importantly today was McGarrett’s birthday and he fully intended to have
time to make an appearance at the Palace to see what outrageous scheme Danny
Williams had come up with this year to celebrate the boss’ birthday. Still he listened carefully as the voice on
the phone identified herself as a nurse from Leahi hospital. He was unfamiliar with the nurse’s name but
was not alarmed. As far as he knew there
wasn’t anything going on.
“We have a patient
who is in recovery who is having some difficulty coming out of the
anesthesia. I know this is probably
ludicrous being that you are the coroner but you are listed
as the physician on this one so we needed some information. The patient’s name is Danny Williams.”
Bergman nearly
dropped the phone in shock. What had
happened? Why was he just finding out
now? Recovery? That meant an operation had already taken
place. Something just did not sound
right with this situation. Normally
whenever something happened to one of McGarrett’s team
he was called immediately.
“What happened to
him?” He demanded. “Never mind, Leahi you said, right? I’m on my way there.”
He hung up the phone
before she could respond. Bergman knew
McGarrett well. Although he did not know
what had happened yet, he knew that the Five- O boss was probably alienating
everyone at
Arriving at the
hospital, he hurried first to the main waiting room. Not finding anyone there, he moved on to the
surgical waiting room, assuming that the detectives or at least Steve had set
up camp up there. He found it empty and
for some reason that bothered him. It
was unusual that no one, Steve specifically, was here,
pacing the floor and wearing everyone’s patience thin as he waited for word on
his second in command.
Finally, he found a
nurse who immediately paged the surgeon.
The surgeon led him to the doctors’ lounge and Bergman
listened in horror as a complete a story as could be told of why Dan was there
and what had gone wrong.
“Where’s McGarrett?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t
know.”
There was
something odd about the situation that did not sit well with Bergman. Never before had
Danny ever faced a medical crisis or any other kind of crisis without Steve by
his side. A small voice told him that,
before he dealt with the missing boss, he needed to see and tend to
Williams. He followed the surgeon into
the recovery room. At the last minute however he paused by the nurses’ desk and quickly
called Five-O.
****
Kelly and Lukela stood together off to the side of the office, watching the many people that filled the room and the activity that surrounded the guest of honor. Duke breathed a sigh of relief. The many drop-in guests had managed to keep McGarrett’s attention since shortly after he had rampaged through the office earlier in search of Danny. Both detectives admitted that today’s absence sent shivers of alarm through them but a subsequent search of his office had netted a slip of paper with a name and address that was several hours away. Also scribbled on the paper was a note indicating that the paper had something to do with a case that Williams had been working on. Chin Ho had hurried to assuage the boss’ ire and concern by insisting that Williams had simply forgotten to advise them of the meet and would make an appearance at some point. McGarrett had appeared mollified but had then gone into his office.
Unbeknownst to his staff he had called HPD dispatch and requested a patch to Williams. No answer. Concern battled with ire at the lack of communication from his friend. However soon the yearly birthday celebration began and the many friends/visitors who came to see the latest in an infamous string of birthday surprises had claimed his attention, chief among them being John Manicote. Manicote loudly declared that he was the self-appointed man in charge of keeping McGarrett away from his office and work for the rest of the day. Frustrated, McGarrett kept an ear on the phone and an eye on the doorway, waiting for some type of communication from Williams.
Now McGarrett stood
in the open doorway of his office, overseeing the activity and people coming
and going in the main office area. He
was grateful that it appeared to be winding down. The party had been subdued from the
start. He couldn’t
quite figure out what it was that was so different at first. There was simply SOMETHING missing. It wasn’t until
everyone but his team, his ohana, had left and he was headed back into his
office that he realized what that something was: his second in
command. He had still not seen or heard
from Danny Williams the entire day. He remembered the note that had been found earlier but the continued lack of
communication and failure to even make an appearance at the office both angered
and worried him. In general not seeing Williams for an
entire day was an unusual occurrence.
Being that it was his birthday made it almost chillingly scary.
He heard the phone
ring in his office. Realizing it was his
private line he hurried to grab it. Chin and Duke had followed the boss towards
his office. Both were intent on
reiterating birthday wishes and disappearing for the day. Rather than put them in a celebratory mood,
the party had only served to further unsettle them especially when Danny had
failed to show up at any point. Both
felt that there was something wrong with the scenario but could not even begin
to explain what it was. They hung back
near the door as McGarrett picked up his ringing phone.
“Yeah, McGarrett - -“
“Steve, its Doc
Bergman.”
“Hello, Doc, what can
I do for you?”
“How much do you know
about what’s going on with Danny?”
“What do you
mean?” Confusion showed plainly on his
face and entered his tone.
“I’m down here at
At the silence from
McGarrett, Bergman paused. He’d initially been angry to learn that one of the Five-O
detectives had been hospitalized without his knowledge. Then he had been perplexed when he reached
the hospital and found only Danny there and not any of the other detectives and
no Steve McGarrett. Now he was beginning
to realize that it appeared no one knew about what was going on with Williams.
“Wait a minute,
Doc. Danno’s in
the hospital? What
for? What’s wrong?”
Chin and Duke stared
at each other, shocked. No wonder they hadn’t seen Dan all day!
But why hadn’t anyone called Five-O? Both detectives stared at Steve, trying to
gauge his reaction to the news, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong
with their friend.
McGarrett listened to
Bergman for a few seconds and then told him he was on his way there, then slammed
the phone down. Placing his hands on the
top of his desk, he attempted to steady his escalating nerves. He glanced up and pinned his two detectives
with a glare.
“When was the last
time we saw Danno?”
“Yesterday morning,
Steve, when we were all in here,” Duke answered.
“He left right before
lunch, I believe. I don’t remember
seeing him again,” Chin quickly supplied, hoping to stave off the tidal wave of
wrath that he feared was headed their way.
“What’s wrong,
Steve?”
“That was
Bergman. It seems Danno’s at Leahi. Admitted yesterday
afternoon. Today they did surgery
on him. Bergman was
called because of a reaction he had to, I guess, the anesthesia. Doc wasn’t very specific.” McGarrett knew he’d
take THAT up with the good doctor later.
“What’s Danny doing
all the way out there?”
“What kind of
surgery, Steve?”
He thought about how
to answer the questions. Doc had not
said much. Before McGarrett could answer
his phone rang again. It was Bergman
again. There was an urgent quality to
the doctor’s voice that McGarrett hadn’t heard before.
“Steve, you need to
get out here – NOW!”
Something in the tone
sparked McGarrett’s adrenaline into a near panic state. “On my way, Doc.”
He dropped the phone
back on its hook and stared at Chin and Duke for a few seconds. Then he nearly ran out of the room and out of
the outer office without so much as a word to Lani. He got in his car and sped off out of the
parking lot for the cross-town drive to the hospital, wondering what was going
on.
Arriving at Leahi,
Steve blew through the building’s entrance and barely stopped at the front
desk. He had forgotten to ask Bergman
what part of the hospital he was in. Discreetly observing from the other side of
the entrance, Doc watched the receptionist recoil from the imposing
persona.
“McGarrett,
Five-O. Where can I find Doctor Bergman?”
Doc quickly went to the
rescue of both the cop and the hospital employee.
“Steve –“
He whirled, questions
spilling from his mouth before he even acknowledged the coroner’s
presence. Long years of professional
association with the state’s top cop meant that Doc understood some of the
underlying motivations inside him. Those
motivations were centered on one person at the moment
– Five-O’s second in command. McGarrett
rarely had the patience for medical guidelines and jargon under normal
circumstances. However, that minimal
level of patience drained to a non-existent level when faced with possible harm
to a friend, to the one he thought of as his closest friend. A guiding hand on
McGarrett’s arm allowed Doc to move him away from the entryway towards the
elevator. He did not bother to speak but
gave McGarrett time to vent his frustration through the staccato burst of
questions that spilled forth. The
underlying theme of the questions solidified Bergman’s belief that none of the
Five-O team had been aware of the surgery that Danny had undergone earlier in
the day.
Doc led Steve to a
small conference room on another floor.
Pushing the door open, McGarrett noticed another man in the room. Instinctively he knew that his answers lie
with the man in the room but he was also afraid to hear those answers.
“Steve, this is
Doctor Ryan. He’s
a neurosurgeon here at the hospital. “
Outwardly trying to
remain calm, McGarrett’s pulse quickened at the mention of the doctor’s
specialty. A
neurosurgeon? That meant Danny’s
brain…Steve knew he needed answers to what had happened and fast.
“Mr. McGarrett, I
believe I’ve heard a lot about you over the past month.”
“Wish I could say the
same but today was the first day I’d ever heard of you. “ Steve’s icy glare pinned both doctors. “Now would one of you please tell me what
happened here today with Danno.”
Bergman noted the
surgeon did not flinch at the angry tone.
To his credit, Doctor Ryan seemed non-plussed at the ire emanating from
McGarrett. Doc turned his head away from
Steve. This was the surgeon’s part to
cover and there was no way he was going to step out in his place. He’d faced the wrath
before when something had happened to these detectives and he knew he’d be
facing it again soon.
“Mr. Williams
underwent surgery this morning.
Following the operation, complications developed with a reaction to a
drug we administered. Events following
the reaction have brought us to where we are now and some hard decisions will
have to be made soon, Mr. McGarrett.”
“Surgery…complications…decisions.
“ Steve fumed, turning his attention to
Bergman, counting on the one medical professional he knew he could depend on
for straight, simple, direct answers.
“Doc, what happened to Danno?”
Brow furling in
misunderstanding, Dr. Ryan reached over and opened a medical chart that had
been close by. Unnoticed by McGarrett,
the doctor’s hand touched on an envelope that was lying in the front of the
chart. “You are Steve McGarrett,
correct?”
A curt nod served as
the reply. The ice blue eyes narrowing,
Steve couldn’t begin to define how he felt about the
lack of answers he was hearing. Doctor
Ryan picked up the envelope as if he was going to give it to McGarrett. Bergman eyed both the cop and the doc,
knowing this was not the move that needed to be made. He cleared his throat to capture both men’s
attention.
“Gentlemen, I believe
we need to start at the beginning of the story.”
Doctor Ryan sighed
quietly. He’d
been leery about his patient’s choice for his power of attorney from the
beginning. He was even more
uncomfortable with the notion that the man did not appear to be aware that
there was anything wrong.
“Mr. Williams came to
see me at the beginning of the month because of headaches and a few other
symptoms. We ran the standard tests on
him to determine if there was even anything wrong. The results prompted us to run a few other
tests. After conclusive testing, I
diagnosed him with Meningiomas and attempted –“
“Wait,” Steve
interrupted. “What exactly does that
mean?”
“Well, Meningiomas is a mass of cells that grow…”
Noticing the clenched
tension in McGarrett’s facial muscles and bones and understanding that he was
minutes away from an eruption, Doc Bergman gently interrupted his
colleague. “Doctor Ryan, if I may?” He then turned to face McGarrett, not wanting
to be the one to deliver the news but knowing that it was something that only
he could ultimately do. “Steve, Danny
had a brain tumor.”
For McGarrett, his
normal, orderly, busily spinning world came to a screeching halt at the
pronouncement. His mind blanked and his
vision closed to everything but the two doctors in front of him. He wasn’t even sure
if he still breathed. Not sure if he
even had a voice, he opened his mouth to express his doubt.
“No, that can’t be,”
he whispered. Then he found some
strength in his voice. “I’ve seen him
every day and I never noticed…Symptoms – what was there? Outside of the headaches?”
“Dizziness, blurred vision, numbness, nausea, emotional instability, curiously with Mr. Williams, short term memory loss was highly prevalent. He advised that he was unable to remember conversations from the previous day. At times possibly vomiting and seizures – however I don’t think he got that bad. We only diagnosed him less than two weeks ago.” Doctor Ryan had clinically listed the symptoms. His nearly emotionless voice continued. “Now, Mr. McGarrett, if you don’t mind we really need to discuss what happens next. As I’ve already stated, complications developed after surgery. The patient did not respond the way we expected to one of the drugs. Hence, he now appears to be in an even deeper coma than we expected. Usually at this point, the next of kin assumes control of the medical decisions. However, in this case I asked Mr. Williams to appoint someone as power of attorney. Mr. Williams was supposed to discuss it with his choice and give them the paper. I don’t believe that happened. This was turned in to the nursing staff when the patient checked in.”
The surgeon picked up
an envelope from inside the chart. Steve
stared at the envelope. Its presence both burning itself in his heart and not even
registering in his mind. Images
flashed before his eyes. He looked up,
not seeing anything in the room. “I want
to see him – NOW.”
Doc noted the
expression on the cop’s face and glanced at the surgeon, nodding his head. “I think the rest of this discussion can
wait, Steve. Come on, we’ll show you
where he’s at.”
****
Restless, he
alternated between sitting close beside the bed, pacing the small space or
simply leaning against the wall. He
replayed the last several weeks in his mind now truly appalled at the many
hints he had missed. Funny how once
pointed out things that he had dismissed as not important were suddenly
noticeable. He wondered again, at how he could have missed the obvious signs
that something had been wrong. What kind
of friend was he when he failed to notice the ill health of someone he claimed
as his closest friend?
Pushing away from the
wall, McGarrett walked over to the side of the bed. Eschewing the chair, he leaned against the
rail of the bed, unable to look at its too still occupant. Flashpoint scenes, memories played in his
head – Danno’s headache on his birthday, the late mornings, the bad score at
the pistol range, his intense moodiness, his sullen refusal to talk the way
they normally did.
‘Give me a reason to not be mad at you, aikane.’
His thought
from two days ago when he was trying to not blow up at Danny. Slowly raising his
head, his eyes locked on to the bandaged head of his friend. Overwhelmed with remorse at his pettiness and
superficial anger over the last month, he whispered. “Oh did you ever have a reason for the way
you were acting…”
The door opened and
both doctors entered soundlessly. Dr.
Ryan moved to the opposite side of McGarrett to check on his patient’s
condition. Doc Bergman remained closer
to the foot of the bed, observing the Five-O boss.
Dr. Ryan finished his
examination and looked up. “Mr.
McGarrett, we really need to finish our earlier discussion.”
Steve straightened and with a final glance at the patient turned
and silently followed the two doctors out of the room. The three moved to a small doctors’ lounge
that was near the nursing station. Once
inside Bergman was barely able to convince McGarrett to take a seat at a nearby
table. Dr. Ryan immediately withdrew the
envelope from the chart he still carried.
“Mr. McGarrett, Mr.
Williams was supposed to give this to you and discuss what its contents
meant. Regrettably, that never
happened. However not knowing in advance
does not change the meaning of the paper nor does it alter the decisions that
you will need to ultimately make during the next
couple of days. “
He attempted to hand
the envelope to McGarrett. Finally after
several minutes, Steve took it, holding it as willingly as one would hold a
bomb that was about to detonate. He
remembered seeing a similar envelope a few days ago in a different hand –
Danno’s hand. He’d
asked if Steve had a few minutes but then had quietly stood there. Ever the cop, ever the boss, forgetting that
he was also a friend, Steve had only concentrated on
the change in work habits and attitude.
Sure he had eventually asked if something were
wrong but had easily accepted the denial.
Prior to that conversation – his last conversation with his friend -
they had argued more than normal. Granted none of the arguments had been
serious to the point of damaging their friendship, but they had still disagreed
– an unusual occurrence since the two men were usually completely in tune with
each other about most things.
Steve slowly pulled a
folded piece of paper from the envelope.
Opening part of it, he found himself staring down at Danny’s signature
and the date. He remembered confronting Dan
that day about all of the sudden appointments and late mornings. Danno’s temper had been quicksilver that day,
his tongue bitingly sharp when he responded. McGarrett’s body shivered as his
mind clearly recalled every detail from both conversations. If only he had
known that there had been something wrong…
Gradually McGarrett unfolded the rest of the paper. Struggling to get past the lump in his throat, unsure that he could even breathe much less speak, he stared at the legal jargon that gave him control over his friend’s life if it was deemed that Williams was incapacitated following the surgery. Dr. Ryan began to speak about the different levels of coma that were possible. He believed the patient to be in a deep coma – one that would eventually become a permanent state. Having understood that McGarrett based his decisions on strictly the available facts, Dr. Ryan explained a little about the Glasgow Coma Scale and the readings he had been getting since right after the surgery.
At some point, Steve quit listening, all he could think about was his friend lying in that bed alone, probably scared, and not knowing what was going on. Steve had to get to his friend NOW. He looked at the doctor and excused himself and the all but ran out of the room and down the hall.
Bursting through the
door to the hospital room, he stopped suddenly, pressing himself against the
wall as the door closed next to him. His
heavy breathing the only visible sign of distress, McGarrett stared at the too
still body in the bed. Unnoticed in his
hand, the now crumpled power of attorney form was bent
even more in his clenched fingers.
Finally, he haltingly stepped from the wall to stand next to the
bed. Without knowing how, he found
himself in a chair that was pulled up close to the bed
and the bed rail lowered. The paper had
fallen unobtrusively to the ground. He
leaned close over the bed. He stared
hard at the still figure, hoping for something…anything. There was nothing.
“Control over your
life wasn’t exactly the type of birthday present I had in mind, Danno. Nor was not having you around today.” His hand covered Dan’s still one and he
paused for several minutes. His chin
quivering, he bit his lower lip to stave off an onslaught of emotion. “Now you aren’t planning any more surprises
are you? Not planning on leaving me to
handle this by myself now are you?”
He choked on those
last words, unable to think about the dreaded possibility. Silently he berated himself for not heeding
the worry and concern that had been springing up in his mind over Dan’s odd
behavior. Hindsight being perfect he was
able to come up with many different ways he could have approached his friend
over what he saw, things that he should have acted on but chose not to. Falling back on the obvious, he had foisted
the reasoning for all that he noticed onto his upcoming birthday. Realizing that he had not been totally wrong,
he wryly thought about how Danno had indeed achieved the ultimate in birthday
surprises for him – one that McGarrett would never have suspected nor wanted,
one that he would now do anything to change.
Somewhere outside in
the hall a distant voice announced the end of visiting hours for the day and
urged all to leave the hospital. Steve’s
jaw clenched and he ignored the tinny command.
He wasn’t going anywhere. It was hard to believe that it was still
December Thirtieth, still his birthday.
He stared at the arm
so close to his own as his mind traveled back to the other birthday that fate
nearly ruined. He’d
only known Danno for a couple of years then.
Funny how from their first meeting he had sensed
something special there, the possibility for a friendship, a bond that he had
never experienced before. Their
slowly growing friendship had solidified, at least for him, the evening of his
thirty-ninth birthday. Danno had
arranged a surprise office party for him – the first of what had become a
tradition. He’d
never admitted it, but Steve had known it was Danny behind the idea. His eyes had been a tad too bright that
evening when Steve had stopped him on the stairs to thank him. It had been that brightness
which had prompted him to reach out and briefly cup the side of Danno’s face
with his hand. Not normally a touchy feely type person, the move had
startled them both. There
had been so much he had wanted to tell him that evening on the stairs,
but instead he had barely been able to say mahalo. Then he had gone to his car and dropped a
present on the pavement – the intervention of fate as the car bomb had exploded
after he had shut the door and went to retrieve the object. The only thing that was clear in his mind
after that was the heat generated by Dan’s body when he dropped down next to
him. The warmth of the
hands that encircled him. The
stillness in them when Steve had remarked that he couldn’t
see. And now so
many years, so many birthday parties later, this…
****
McGarrett barely
turned and watched the surgeon leave the room.
The man’s body language indicated that he was not happy with the way
Steve was handling this. Ice blue eyes
stared at the coroner. “You think I’m
wrong and he’s right, don’t you? That even if Danno does wake up he’ll be a vegetable?”
“Steve –” Bergman
knew better than to try to make McGarrett see reason at this point. Steve was too close to this emotionally. He would never be able to see the medical
logic that drove the surgeon. For his part Doc knew that he’d wished for nothing more than
McGarrett to be right about this. He
just did not see how it could happen.
Knowing there was really nothing he could say at this point, Bergman
also left the room.
Steve moved to the
side of the bed and lowered the rail, dropping heavily on to the mattress next
to his friend. He sat there for several
silent minutes, then –
“They want an answer,
Danno. They are so sure that you aren’t coming back, that you are going to just drift like
this. They don’t know you like I do, do they?
You’ll show them.”
He lapsed into
silence, feeling overwhelmed by the last day and a half. His hands reached out and grasped Dan by both
arms, squeezing tightly. “You’ve got to
tell me what to do, Danno. You’re the one who stuck me
with this. Signing
power of attorney over to me. But
I can’t do this without you.” He shook
his friend, both wanting to get some kind of response from him and being overcome with emotion, with frustration. “Tell me what you want to happen, Danno.”
He knew he didn’t really expect an answer but was still disappointed
when he didn’t get one. The door opened
and shut behind him. He saw shadows
crossed the bed and turned enough to see Chin and Duke enter the room, coming
to a stop at the foot of the bed. His
hands fell from Williams’ arms as he rose.
Eyeing his two detectives, he was well aware of the horrified shock on
their faces as they both stared at Danny and the machines that surrounded
him. He moved toward them and shepherded
them towards the door.
“Gentlemen, let’s go
talk down the hall.”
The three left the room after staring at the patient in the bed. In the small patient lounge, Steve quietly told Chin and Duke what he had been told about Danny’s symptoms and the tumor. Shock filling their faces, both now understood the strange reactions they had gotten from Williams whenever they had questioned him about Steve’s birthday. Various little conversations, meetings, dazed looks – like McGarrett, the two detectives were appalled at how much of what had happened in the last month now made perfect sense. Now both questioned how they could have just blindly accepted the differences they had seen without suspicion, without alarm, without concern.
This was how Dr.
Bergman, with the neurosurgeon in tow, found the three a short time later. They were still discussing things and finally
realizing how apparent the illness had been. As always
Dr. Ryan appeared antsy and anxious to get the upcoming conversation with
McGarrett over with as quickly as possible.
He asked if there was some place the three of them
could go to talk. But Steve introduced Chin and
Duke to him and assured that there wasn’t anything that had to do with Williams
that could not be said in front of the two detectives. Before any disagreements could
be voiced, Bergman jumped in and agreed with Steve.
****
The surgeon’s final
curt nod and brisk departure were two indications of his intense displeasure in
what he saw as a lack of co-operation and respect from McGarrett. Due mostly to his stature and reputation
within the medical community, his word on most cases was
accepted as gospel and it irritated him to no end that the head of the
state police doubted his opinions and prognosis. Bergman remained behind this time. Although he had previously felt it his duty
to explain McGarrett’s logic to the surgeon, this time he felt that Steve was
the one who needed the support. Earlier
the Five-O head had asked if Doc thought he was wrong. He had not answered then but he hoped that by
remaining with Steve, Chin and Duke that McGarrett understood his answer now.
“Steve, why is that
doctor looking to you for a decision about Danny?”
Bergman glanced over
to see if McGarrett would be able to answer.
Then took the liberty of answering for him.
“Chin, most patients
have close family to rely on. That’s very important with this kind of operation because
afterward the patient is put into a drug-induced coma. In Danny’s case, he has no one close so Dr.
Ryan asked Danny to name someone to legally take
responsibility if something happened.
Danny signed a power of attorney about a week before the surgery and
named Steve.”
“AUWE!!!!” This reaction
came from Duke. Both detectives’ eyes
grew wide as the ramifications of what Danny had signed and what Steve was now being asked to do hit them.
****
Steve stretched out
his legs in front of him, running his hands over his tired, stubbly face. He had not left this room since early the
previous evening, had not even been to his apartment or the office since his
birthday. Rising slowly, he moved to the
window, partially closing the blinds to the rising sun. Not that it would matter to the unconscious
patient in the bed. Almost two days had
passed since Williams had his surgery and slipped into a coma. New Years’ Day – to McGarrett, the start of a
brand new year was the perfect day for an end to the silence that had been in
the room. He turned back toward the bed,
staring at the too still form, unable, but then not really trying, to keep the
fond look from crossing his face.
“Happy New Year,
Danno. Don’t you think it’s time you woke up?
Prove that Dr. Ryan wrong.”
Steve leaned against
the wall. His neck was stiff and his
back hurt from the endless hours he spent sitting by his friend’s side. Now that he knew what had been going on over
the last month, the burden that Williams had shouldered on his own, Steve could
not leave. To walk out of the room, to
leave Dan’s side for longer than the times he listened to the doctor or the
time he had spent with his other two detectives was an impossibility. In his mind, his failure to notice that
something had been amiss was colossal.
He could think of no way to even begin to atone
for it except to not leave Dan’s side now.
The fear and anticipation and worry – Danno had shouldered that by
himself prior to the surgery. Now it was
Steve’s turn to feel the very same emotions over Dan’s unconscious state.
****
Blackness surrounded
him. He had no idea where he was or what
was happening. He thought he was moving
but could not be sure. He looked around
for a guide, an anchor and found nothing.
He could not remember ever feeling so lost.
A light? Or
at least a break in the darkness – he must have been moving toward it
somehow but did not feel himself walking because suddenly the light surrounded
him, enveloped him. He felt himself
turning, trying to grasp where he was.
The light was not bright, did not hurt his eyes the way most lights had
for the last several weeks. He was
grateful for that. But
there was a fog around him, making it impossible to identify where he was. He felt like he was struggling to get through
the fog and longed for something to grab on to for assistance. He turned again, this time sighting something
that was light and yet also dark – black, then white, then black again. Was it?
‘Steve?’
The colors turned and the fog cleared, revealing
the shadowed, drawn face of Steve McGarrett.
Two sets of blue eyes met in a locked gaze and some of the weariness
left the taller man’s face.
‘Danno! You’re
back! Thank God!’
Danny felt the fear that had seemed to fill him
slowly dissipate. Yet he knew that the
words were not completely true.
‘No, I don’t think I’m back.’
‘Then where…?’
McGarrett looked around, as if finally becoming
aware of his surroundings.
‘Danno?’ There was a fear, a hesitance in his voice.
‘I don’t know, Steve.’
‘You’re not dead.
I’m not dead and I’m here so you aren’t dead.’ Steve was grasping for details – always the
cop. He needed firmer ground, an
absolute truth. Too much was not right
in his world the last few days.
‘No, I’m not.
I think I’m…drifting.’ Confusion
laced Dan’s voice. Things were slowly
starting to become clearer to him.
‘Drifting.‘ Steve didn’t
question the description, no matter how vague it sounded. His gaze pierced his friend’s eyes, locking
on them. ‘Well, maybe it’s time you woke
up, Danno.’
The fear returned to the warm blue eyes, momentarily moved across the face. He tried to look away but couldn’t. It was as if Steve would not let him break
their eye contact.
Instantly reading the expression, the emotion
in the eyes, McGarrett was alarmed. Very
few times had he ever seen fear in his friend’s eyes. That it was there now caused him great
concern. ‘What! Danno, what’s wrong?’
‘I can’t.
It’ll hurt again, Steve.’ He
forced himself to break his eyes away from Steve. Admitting his fear of the pain to his friend
was so…degrading. The thought surprised
him and he turned his back on Steve, not wanting him to read the expression on
his face.
McGarrett was at a loss as to how to deal with
this. No matter what situation they encountered he had never seen fear in his second in command,
his friend before. He reached out his
hand to touch Dan’s shoulder but found he could not – something was stopping
him.
‘They got it all, Danno. The tumor – it’s
out. It’s gone now.
No more pain.’ His words husky,
he tried to swallow down the lump that filled his throat and chest. He could not begin to even
imagine how bad his friend’s headaches must have been. He was yet again filled with remorse for not
knowing, not being close by to help Dan.
Williams turned and slowly faced
McGarrett. As always
Steve had no trouble reading the questions on his friend’s face.
‘It will be okay, Danno. Sure, you’ll have to take some time and
recover from this, but you’ll be fine.’
‘Don’t give up on me? No matter what?’
Their eyes locked again. Unspoken thoughts passed in that look. In an instant Steve
knew that Dan was looking for an anchor, a way back. An assurance that no matter what had happened
over the past month that nothing had happened to completely
damage their relationship, their friendship. It was an assurance that Steve had no trouble
giving. He reached out a hand and
touched the side of Dan’s face in a gesture reminiscent of something from their
past.
‘I’m here for the duration, until you’re
back. And I’ll never give up on you – no
matter what.’
****
He started and broke
his gaze from what he was not even seeing out the window. He had the strangest feeling – one he could
not even begin to explain. Almost as if he had just left the room and gone somewhere else. He shuddered as the hair stood on the back of
his neck. He turned quickly towards the
bed but there was no change, no movement there.
He sighed, leaning against the wall as he watched the patient. “Come on, Danno,” he whispered.
****
For Steve, the days
were starting to blur together. He had
been at the hospital continuously since the phone call from Bergman. The surgeon was not happy that he was camped
in Dan’s room but Steve honestly did not care.
He was still condemning himself for not pursuing the feelings he’d had that there had been something wrong throughout the
month.
The surgeon was still
insisting that Williams’ coma was deep enough to be irreversible and, in HIS
educated opinion, McGarrett needed to think about what decisions would need to be made in the very near future. He was also making noises about evicting him
from the hospital room except for the normal visiting hours. It ended up being a move that was not immediately
necessary as Five-O was given a case that was more politically complex and hot
than they’d had in a while.
Since pressure was
being put on the governor by political allies, he in turn passed that pressure
on to Five-O.
In the beginning, McGarrett simply managed the case as best he could
from the hospital, allowing Chin and Duke to handle the actual
investigation. While he listened to
their daily updates and occasionally offered a few opinions, his mind was
clearly not on the case but on his unconscious friend. In one awful day, both the governor and the surgeon
turned his already tilted world completely out of focus.
First, the governor,
although understanding of the reason, was irritated because he consistently had
to leave a message for McGarrett with Five-O’s secretary. Finally speaking to the cop hours after his
initial call, he demanded that Steve start to once again function as the head
of the state police force. Reluctantly
knowing that he had no other choice but to agree, McGarrett began to formulate
a plan to be able to spend time in the office but the lion share of hours still
at the hospital with Williams.
Then Dr. Ryan decided
that he had enough of what he called the ‘camp out’. He informed McGarrett that he no longer
expected to see him inside his patient’s room unless it was around the time of
the regular visiting hours for intensive care.
Caustically he remarked that he was writing orders for the nurses to ask
him to leave and if necessary to involve the hospital’s security. Aghast at what he perceived to be the
surgeon’s arrogance, McGarrett was speechless long enough to allow the doctor
to escape the room without argument.
****
McGarrett was alone
in his office. The
only illumination being the small desk lamp. Breeze filtered in from the open lanai
doors. He’d
been feeling far too closed in of late hence the doors were open despite the
very late hour. He rubbed at his tired
eyes, wishing there was a way to will them to see more clearly, to find what he
knew was hidden in the evidence report he was
re-reading for the hundredth time. He
rested the side of his head against a propped up palm. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few
minutes what he was looking for would be obviously in front of him.
‘Steve…Steve.’
He felt a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking
him. ‘Steve, it’s late. You need to go home.’
He started, jumping a little in his seat as the
words registered in his foggy brain and the voice recognized. Turning his head, his eyes found a pair of
calm, steady blue eyes staring intently at him.
He blinked slowly several times.
‘Danno? What…?’
His friend sat on the corner of his desk,
giving McGarrett time to fully wake up. He glanced up at the familiar pose. How often Danno had sat in
his office like that! What was so
wrong about the scene now? Wait –
‘You’re supposed to be in the hospital.’
‘I wanted to talk to you.’ Danny looked fondly at his
boss, his friend. ‘You haven’t
been around much lately. Knew it was
because you were busy. But there were a
few things I needed to say to you.’
The vague confusion that had held Steve’s mind
now turned to a slowly building agonizing dread. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Relax – nothing major. Just some stuff I’ve wanted to tell you for a
while.’ He stared at Steve who turned
his head and met the stare evenly as he swallowed down a growing tightness.
‘You know you work too much, Steve. You need to relax more. I can’t tell you to
eat better. You already eat all that
rabbit food.’
‘You’re the one who needs to eat better.’ McGarrett couldn’t
resist the retort or the grin that played over his face. He had been trying to reform Williams’ rotten
eating habits for years.
‘Maybe I should have eaten healthier. You certainly tried hard to change my ways in
that respect. Anyway that’s not what I
came here to tell you.’
The seriousness in Dan’s blue eyes scared
Steve. He couldn’t
pinpoint the reason behind his fear but instinctively he knew this visit was
not something he wanted to continue. He
tried to rise out of his chair to stand in front of Danny and found he could
not move.
‘What’s going on, Danno? Why are you talking in the past tense?’
‘You need to say good bye, Steve.’
McGarrett froze, his ice blue eyes boring into Williams’. His voice
a hoarse raspy whisper – ‘What do you mean? To who?’
He held his breath, already knowing he did not
want to hear the answers. ‘To me, Steve.’ The
soft reply was like a vicious punch. It took his breath away, stripped him of conscious thought and
numbed his body and spirit.
‘Mahalo. For always being there for
me and for being my friend, Steve.’
Danny appeared to stare out onto the lanai for several seconds. Then his eyes returned to meet Steve’s. ‘ I have to go, but don’t
blame yourself for this. There was nothing you could have done this time. Remember I
never told you what was wrong. Aloha, aikane.’
‘NO!
Danno, you can’t do this!’
“NO!” With a start, Steve jumped, his hands nearly knocking the files off the corner of desk. His eyes flew open and darted wildly around the room, coming to rest on the corner of his desk, the pile of files he had been going through for most of the evening.
“Danno?” He called out, not
really expecting an answer, not surprised when only silence greeted him.
A dream! It had just been a
dream. A chill passed through him as he
remembered how real it had felt. A
horrible thought – what if it had not been a dream? It had been a couple of days since he had
been back to the hospital. He’d convinced himself that the new case required all of his
attention. He knew though that it was just an excuse to avoid the depression that settled on
him whenever he entered the hospital room or conversed with the dire, dread
pronouncing surgeon. Plus the surgeon was very clear that McGarrett had no
business being camped out in the room with the patient. Had even left orders for
the nurses to evict him if he was there beyond specified visiting hours.
Suddenly none of that mattered to him.
Shoving his chair back from the desk, he rose and turned, grabbing his
jacket and slamming shut the lanai doors in one fluid motion. He never bothered with the desk lamp. Filled with a sudden urgency to get to the
hospital as fast as humanly possibly, he ran out of the office and down to his
car.
The drive to the
hospital was never ending. Mind numbing
fear clutched at McGarrett as well as a new thought - constantly replayed in
his mind.
‘I’m here for the
duration, until you’re back. And I’ll
never give up on you – no matter what.’
A promise he did not
remember making at least not in this realm.
It was a promise he had broken of late.
He prayed that he would not be too late to reaffirm it.
Arriving at the
hospital, Steve flashed his badge at the nighttime guard and raced through the
halls until he reached the unit that Dan was in. He stopped just short of the door to Dan’s
room, watching as it opened and a couple of nurses walked out. Unable to find clues to what was happening by
the looks on their faces, he slowly stepped forward intent on getting their
attention. One of the nurses noticed him, was surprised to see him there and headed over
to talk to him.
“Mr. McGarrett, it’s
been several days since you’ve been here – at least at this time.”
He nodded, unable to
speak for the worry that clogged his throat.
“If you want to go in
and see him, go ahead. You won’t get an argument from
any of us. We felt that Dr. Ryan was
wrong to insist that you adhere to the visiting hours.”
Steve nodded his head
in appreciation and began to walk towards Dan’s room, a little surprised when
the nurse continued to walk with him.
Entering the room he was shocked at the change
in the patient’s condition. Dan’s
coloring was now gray and he had additional IV bags hanging near him. McGarrett’s eyes darted around the room before
staring at the nurse.
“What happened?” His voice was barely a whisper as he fought
to speak beyond the shock that gripped his chest.
“He’s developed
pneumonia. It’s
a fairly common complication considering all that he’s been through but not a
welcome one. His lungs just aren’t strong enough to fight it. His body is still reeling from the surgery so
this really is a setback for him.”
Although he hated
asking, he needed to know if something had happened here earlier. He was not the least bit surprised to learn
that Dan’s pulse rate had slowed dramatically before they had stabilized him
with drugs again. The nurse was not sure
how much longer they could keep him stable with the drugs and felt that Dr.
Ryan would either demand a decision from McGarrett soon or else find a way to
cut him out of the process entirely.
“Look, Mr. McGarrett,
I’m working a double tonight so I’m on duty til
morning and he’s my patient. If you want
to stay, you won’t get an argument from me. Just make sure you aren’t here when the
doctors do their rounds.”
She left the room
shortly after and Steve stood near the foot of the bed, transfixed by what had
been happening while he had been away from this room. Finally, he paced back and forth, the
restless movement of someone who was not comfortable where he was.
"You can’t leave
me now." Steve knew his friend
probably didn’t hear his whisper, but it was as if he
suddenly felt a need to admit to things that he’d known but never
verbalized. He finally stopped pacing,
coming to rest at the side of the bed.
He stared at Danny as if by force of his will he could reverse the
downward spiral that seemed to be happening.
Steve spoke softly but a little louder than the first time.
“You know, Danno, I’d
be lost without you…”
Steve pulled a chair
close to the side of the bed and tiredly flopped in to it. This position was very familiar to him, as he
had spent many a night sitting by Danny’s hospital bed whenever he was
injured. He knew there had been nights
even more serious than this before and Danno had always pulled through
them. Why did he doubt that the same
thing would happen this time?
Steve rubbed his neck
tiredly. The stress from Dan’s coma and
the added pressures from the case and the governor were taking its toll on
him. He needed to rest, to think clearly. He leaned his arm against the armrest and
soon his head dropped towards his chest as his eyes closed.
His eyes popped open, sure he had heard a voice. But he was the only
one in the room. He looked around behind
him to confirm the thought.
‘Hi
Steve.’
He whirled forward,
nearly moving the chair he still sat in.
The bed was empty!
‘Danno!’
‘I’m right
here.’ A figure crossed in front of him
from over by the wall and sat on the bed.
Steve’s eyes landed on the face of the man who had been his friend for
longer than he could remember.
‘I think it’s time.’
Horror filled
McGarrett since he knew what Danny was referring to. ‘NO!’
‘Yes, Steve.’
‘Don’t ask me to
make that decision. I still need you
here.’
‘You have to. You are the only one who can make that
decision for me.’ Danny’s eyes sought
out Steve’s.
‘I’m sorry, aikane.’
Steve watched as his
friend 'disappeared' from site...
He woke up slowly, thrashing his head from side to side whispering, ‘NO! I can't, don't make me!’
****
Steve McGarrett
exited his bedroom dressed in his usual work attire of a dark business
suit. However, instead of leaving his condo to begin his workday, he chose instead to move into
the kitchen and fix yet another cup of coffee.
He stood there holding the cup in his hand for several minutes before
placing it on the counter. Then he
absently wandered out onto the lanai, staring at his ocean view for several
minutes. Had anyone been around to inquire he would have been able to tell them exactly what he was or wasn’t doing. He was avoiding the start of the day and what
had to be done.
Strange – especially considering that he was
normally a person who attacked each day with a vengeance at the first sign of
light. Yet to him his avoidance made
complete sense. On his schedule for the
morning was something he had fought against since New Year’s Eve. His subconscious surely thought that if he weren’t there to facilitate the activity then of course it
wouldn’t happen. His logic knew that wasn’t the case. Gradually
realizing that he could no longer put it off, he strode off the lanai and out
the door, trying to present a false sense of assurance to the outside
world.
Arriving at
“Steve, Dr. Ryan is
running a little late. “
McGarrett nodded, not
trusting his voice at this point. Besides he probably would be unable to explain how grateful
he was to know that the dreaded moment could be delayed just a bit longer. He turned towards one of the rooms, taking a
slow deep breath. Doc walked next to
him, knowing what he was thinking about yet unable to come up with any words of
comfort. These last days had reinforced
in his mind why he had gone into the specialty that he had. He really preferred not dealing with the live
body. Too much heartache was involved in
treating live patients.
“Chin and Duke are on
their way. I called them earlier.”
“Do they know?” He couldn’t finish
the question – put into words what was about to happen.
Bergman nodded. “I explained it to each of them when I
called.”
Momentarily Steve felt a pang of regret that his other detectives had
learned of what was to come the way they had and not from him. But he knew it was
better – he would never have been able to tell them. They had reached the door. He forced himself to look at Bergman.
“Is there any chance
that he’s wrong? That we’re making a
mistake?”
“Steve, there’s
always a chance. Comas are so –
unknown. But…”
He didn’t
finish his thought. He knew this was
killing McGarrett, destroying him slowly inside the way the tumor had destroyed
the person inside the room. Beyond
anything, he wished Ryan was wrong. That Steve would open the door to this room
and discover that everything inside had shifted completely and that the patient
was awake, responding and on the mend – the way he had been so many times
before.
In a gruff voice that
betrayed the concern for both the patient and the man in front of him, Bergman
promised to send Chin and Duke into the room as soon as he saw them. “Go on, Steve. Go - take this time to just be in there.”
Almost against his
will, McGarrett’s hand pushed the door open.
Right before he entered the room, he turned.
“Doc, when that
surgeon gets here, you’ll be in here too, right?”
Bergman assured that
he would be. He had already canceled his
commitments for the day due mostly to concern for the man before him. As strong as he always had been, Bergman knew
that today could just be the one thing that would destroy
Steve McGarrett.
The door closed
behind him, but McGarrett’s eyes were fixed on the
hospital bed. Fear, doubt, dread and
sorrow assailed him. Was he doing the
right thing? What if
that surgeon was wrong? And this was really murder?
Crossing to the bed, he looked for a reaction to his presence but saw
the same thing he had seen since the end of December. Looking around the room, he noticed a
clipboard with some papers sitting on the bedside table. Next to it - a pen.
Emotions bottled in
his chest as he realized what those papers were. The chair that he had sat in the previous
afternoon was still pulled close to the bed. He dropped into it, staring down at the too
still arm. He brought a hand up to his
mouth for a minute, covering it as he attempted to breathe, to swallow down the
huge lump that felt like it had blocked his throat. Of its own accord, his other hand
instinctively reached out, covering the hand that lay on the bed. Slowly he raised his head to look at the
still form, hoping for a miracle.
Realizing that there
would be no reprieve from the awful decision, he took Dan’s hand in both of
his. “You know you could make this a
whole lot easier on me and wake up.” He
paused as his voice choked. He wondered
how he was going to get through this.
Not to mention everything else and he had not even considered every day
life yet. How was he going to survive day to day operations at Five-O without his second in
command? Danno had fulfilled that role
for so long that McGarrett could not see anyone else with the title. More importantly, how was he going to get
through his life without his friend around?
Thoughts crowded his mind. Things he had
said, promises he had made but never kept, emotions never expressed. So many times he
had promised himself that he would admit to things ‘soon’. Tomorrow had been his favorite word whenever
the opportunity arose to reveal an emotion to someone. Now he was out of tomorrows, out of hours and
nearly out of minutes. It had reached
the now or never. He gripped tightly to
the hand he held in both of his.
“You know I usually
avoid this sort of thing, Danno.” His
voice was barely a whisper.
“Emotionalism always seemed weak to me, made a person seem weak. Never bleed was my motto – remember? You showed me different though.”
He glanced up at his
friend’s impassive face. The lack of
response there had been the toughest for McGarrett to deal with. Williams’ face had always been so readable. In the beginning he
had vowed to work on hardening his detective, making him immune to all of the
violence and hurt they saw so regularly.
But instead he had learned to read his
detective, to know what he was thinking and feeling by the look on his
face. Through time
he knew that he would not have wanted Danny to become cold and callous. The impassive expression he had seen of late
saddened him more than anything else he had seen.
“Believing
that surgeon, making this decision – the thought of you not waking up.” Steve was on the
verge of losing it emotionally. His
voice choking with feelings, unshed tears sparkling in his eyes, he rested his
head on top of the hand he still tightly held.
“All of these years and I’ve never told you how I felt. There’s a word for
it, for what I’ve thought you to be – kaikaina. You’ve been my
‘little brother’ for years, Danno. I
don’t know what I’m going to do…”
Steve’s voice faded
as he heard the door open behind him but he opted to not move
from his spot or to let go of Dan’s hand.
The only thing he did was to raise his head. Suspicions confirmed – the new arrivals were
Chin and Duke, lines of shock, dread, and grief already in their faces.
“Steve, you’re not –”
Duke could not finish his question. He didn’t have to. He
could already see the answer in McGarrett’s eyes. That was a surprise – the
boss always hid behind an emotional façade, a mask that no one was able to
crack. It wasn’t
up today – devastation was clearly written on the face, grief and pain visible
in the eyes. Duke had to look away. Slowly he joined Chin Ho on the other side of
the bed. Steve knew he should probably
leave the room to give his detectives time to say their own good-byes but it wasn’t something he was capable of doing. He needed
to spend every possible moment near Danny before…
The door opened again
and Steve’s heart pounded in his chest.
He knew without a doubt that this time the steps belonged to the surgeon
and Doc Bergman. Dr. Ryan made a show of
checking the patient’s condition.
Whether he was actually looking for a response or improvement, McGarrett
could not be sure. All he knew was that
all too soon Dr. Ryan walked over to the clipboard,
picked up the pen and put his signature somewhere on the paper, and then he
looked up towards the man on the other side of room.
“Mr. McGarrett, your
signature is the only thing left that’s necessary.”
He did not need to
look up to know that everyone else in the room was staring at him. If he had been able to think, he would have
guessed at the expressions on the faces.
He could not look anywhere. His
head dropped down close to his chest and he tightened his already firm on
Danny’s hand. Bergman watched the
tableau before him debating whether or not to pick up
the clipboard and take it to McGarrett.
He had never known the cop to not want to be in charge of any situation however he knew there had never been a predicament quite
like this. He ended up not needing to as
McGarrett slowly lowered the hand to the side of the bed. With great effort he pushed the chair back and
slowly rose, walking around to the other side by the clipboard. He stared at the surgeon.
“You are absolutely
sure there’s no chance –” He could not manage to finish the question.
The surgeon shook his
head. “I’ve given you my medical opinion
on this many times, Mr. McGarrett. Now
please do we really need to continue this unnecessarily?”
Steve’s heart
screamed that they did, that nothing but total proof would convince him. Maybe not even then. He picked up the pen and heard the shifting
behind him, knew it was either Chin or Duke.
Blocking all of the sound from his mind, trying to forget who it was
that was lying in the bed; Steve hurriedly signed the form then turned and
pushed his way past his detectives and out the door.
Out in the hall close
to the door, he leaned back against the wall.
He knew he should go back in there, but could not bring himself to. Watching the actual action of the ventilator being shut off, the last assisted/forced breath was
something he could not do. A few minutes
later Chin and Duke both exited the room and stood close. None of them spoke – there was no need. Finally, Duke hesitantly reached a hand out
to Steve’s arm and gripped it for a second before both he and Chin walked
away.
The door opened again
and Dr. Ryan exited the room. He slowed
briefly, looking at McGarrett but did not speak. Slowly he pushed himself away from the wall
and pushed the door open. Reentering he
stayed close to the door. The still
quiet in the room, the sight of Doc Bergman standing close by Danny’s side as
he removed the ventilator tubes and the mouthpiece that had held Dan’s mouth
open for the machine, the brief look he received from Bergman when he entered –
all were enough to make the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He did not want to watch yet could not tear
his eyes away from the morbid scene. The
ventilator was quiet. The heart monitor
still beeped but Dr. Ryan had explained that the heart would continue to beat
for several hours since it was an involuntary muscle. According to the surgeon, the most important
factor was that he believed Danny would not take another breath once the
ventilator was turned off.
“Has he?”
McGarrett eyed
Bergman, whose only reply was the slight shake of his head. His last hope, his
fervent wish – that Danno would take a breath on his own once the machine was
off – crushed by that movement.
Steve’s eyes were fixed on Danny yet he was not
watching what Bergman was doing. Finally,
Doc was done messing with the tubes. Knowing what came next, not able to watch,
Steve turned, folding himself into the wall, a soft moan escaping from his
throat. He knew the next time he turned
around Dan’s head would be covered. It was something he knew he couldn’t see.
Steve heard a rustling over by Danny's bed and cringed. He wanted to turn around, yet he didn't. He knew he owed it to Danno to witness these last details, yet he couldn’t. Positive that he was listening to the sound of the shroud being pulled over his closest friend’s lifeless body, McGarrett could not stop the strangled noise that escaped.
Suddenly Steve heard the phone being picked up. He heard Bergman’s voice but not the words he spoke and then he heard the surgeon being paged to return to Dan’s room. He finally opened his eyes and turned around. Dr. Bergman was standing over Danny, intently listening to his chest. Bergman glanced up and Steve could read the excitement on his face. A surge of some unidentifiable emotion filled his chest as he looked at the coroner, questions filling his face.
"Is he?"
"Yes, he's
breathing on his own, just started when I was about to…” Bergman could not keep
the elation from his voice. “Started
shallow but it’s been getting stronger with each breath. And it looks like his pulse is getting
better.”
Dr. Ryan had just
returned to the room and caught the end of Bergman’s statement to
McGarrett. Disbelieving what he had
heard, the surgeon rechecked the patient.
Steve stayed near the wall, afraid to hope, desperate for what Doc said
to be true, waiting for his world to crash down around him again.
“You’re right. I don’t know how it happened but he’s
breathing.” The surgeon’s confirmation
was coldly clinical almost as if he wasn’t happy to
have been proven wrong.
“We're going to get
someone down here to run some tests and see what's happening. Mr. McGarrett, you’ll need to leave
now."
“No.”
The surgeon was
clearly shocked. McGarrett pushed
himself away from the wall. Somehow, a
reprieve had been delivered. Both he and Danno had been
spared an awful fate. Steve
intended on taking advantage of that now.
He was not leaving this time no matter what that insufferable surgeon
said or threatened. Dan was breathing on his own and McGarrett felt it was only a matter of time
before he was soon conscious.
Dan’s heartbeat had
remained steady yet rather slow for several hours. McGarrett had steadfastly refused to leave,
rooting himself in a chair next to the bed.
At first he had kept up a stream of one-sided
chatter much in the same way he had done when he had first arrived at the
hospital on his birthday. But then he had fallen into silence choosing instead to
remain at the bedside with his hand on top of Dan’s.
****
The measured blips
that he no longer heard began to increase.
The door opened and a nurse rushed in, not even looking at the visitor,
but eyeing the scope above the bed.
“What is it?” McGarrett demanded.
She ignored him – or
rather was too focused on the patient to have even
heard him. A doctor, not the surgeon,
entered quickly. The sudden excited
movement caused distress to build in McGarrett until she realized that it was
not a dire excitement.
“Mr. Williams, can
you hear me?”
Steve stared at the
activity centered around the bed. Could it be?
He clenched his jaw feeling all the muscles in his body tensing. A repetitive strain of thought ran through
his mind and he silently urged Dan to respond.
After several minutes both the doctor and the
nurse backed away slowly. Finally, the
doctor turned towards McGarrett.
“I’m not sure but it
appears that he has …entered a lesser stage of unconsciousness. Dr. Ryan would have to
verify this of course and by no means is he awake or even aware yet. But this is a definite improvement.”
McGarrett fought to
keep the smile off his face at the guarded news. "Do you think he'll wake
up now?" Steve asked as if this one sentence was akin to asking for the
sun to rise at his command.
After the doctor left
the room, the nurse turned to him.
“We’re going to have
to page the surgeon. He won’t be very happy when he finds you here. It might be a good idea if you left for a
while.”
He barely nodded in
his head in reply and she too left the room.
He hurried to the side of the bed.
“I know you’re
trying, Danno. Don’t
stop! Keep fighting your way back. You can do this!” He reached over and gripped the patient’s
arm. “I’m not leaving, Danno. No matter what that doctor says. I know you’re close to waking up and I’ll be
here when you do.”
****
Steve was dozing in a
chair close to the bed when the door opened, startling him into full
wakefulness. A quick perusal of the
bed’s occupant told him that nothing had changed. He watched Doc Bergman enter the room and
move to the other side of the bed.
“Thought I’d
check on him before I headed to the morgue.”
McGarrett didn’t bother to reply.
The old doc had a long history with the Five-O team and had been as
concerned about Dan’s condition the past two and a half weeks as Steve had been. He
remained seated at Dan’s bedside but did not pay too much attention to Bergman
until…
“Danny…Danny if you
can hear me, squeeze my hand.”
Steve eyed the doc
but his face was, as always, impassive.
He felt his breathing quicken in anticipation.
“Good. Danny, I need you to open your eyes…Open your
eyes and look at me, Danny.”
McGarrett jumped from
his chair to stand next to the bed.
Needing to add his own requests, he somehow forced himself to remain
quiet. His jaw visibly clenched and
tightened as he watched eyelids slowly flutter.
Bergman was now standing directly over Dan’s face, in his field of
vision. While he knew he probably needed
to have the nurses page Dr. Ryan, deep down he felt that it was more important
for both he and Steve, faces that Dan knew and was comfortable with, to be
there and not the cold and clinical surgeon.
As the eyelids slowly fluttered open, Bergman noted the fogginess and
lack of focus in the eyes, but also knew that it was to be
expected after so long of a time spent unconscious.
“Hi, Danny. Do you know where
you are?” His gentle ‘patient’ voice
took on a more gravely tone. This was
what they had both been waiting for since McGarrett’s birthday. He watched Dan blink a few times and part his
lips as he tried to answer.
“
Unable to contain
himself any longer, Steve moved up the side of the bed and leaned over into
Dan’s field of vision. He looked at the
confused expression on the patient’s face and the fear returned – the fear that
Dan’s memory was gone. Then the blue
eyes found Steve’s face, locking on his eyes, not moving away. Steve knew he should say something to his
friend but couldn’t come up with anything to say. He simply watched as a flood of emotions
filled Dan’s eyes. Steve felt a brush
against his hand as if something was weakly trying to hold on to his
fingers. Quickly he moved his arm,
picking up Dan’s hand in his. His eyes
never wavered from Dan’s.
“Steve…”
Bergman’s sigh was
audible. Obviously relieved that Dan was
sure of some facts, he mentally searched for a reason for the earlier confusion. He came up with several.
Steve tightened his
hold on Dan’s hand. He wanted to
speak, to welcome his friend back from where ever he’d
been but could not get past the tightness that was building in his chest.
“I missed it.” The whisper was a little stronger, a little
surer but regret filled it.
Somehow, Steve found
his voice. He had to ask, as he could
not figure out what Danny was talking about. “Missed what?”
Before Danny could
answer, Bergman cut in with another question.
“Danny, what’s the last thing you remember?”
That question was
easy. Dan never took his eyes from Steve’s. His clearly
remembered how he had felt right before the surgery had started when he had
realized what the date was.
“Happy
birthday, Steve.”
McGarrett couldn’t talk, could barely breathe as emotions built up
threatening to choke him. He brought his
other hand up to the top of Dan’s head, smoothing back the curls.
****
Relatively speaking,
things were moving along fairly quickly. Although to acknowledge that statement would
have meant that he was admitting life was fine and
McGarrett was not willing to admit that just yet. Three weeks had passed since Danny had
regained consciousness – three hectic and insanely busy weeks. Steve knew he had been seriously infringing
on the good will of his detectives and was grateful that they had not
complained about the long hours and extra duty they had pulled. He had teased Danno a few days ago to expect
payback at some point from Chin and Duke.
But he knew that there was no other option for
him.
Dan was out of the
hospital – that was the most important development, even if he had gone to a
rehab center instead of home. Doc
Bergman had taken over his case as the primary physician once he had left the
hospital. Steve could barely contain his
relief with that. Doc knew the
detectives so well that he knew what was most important with Danny’s
recovery. In that
knowledge came the ability to know what in the long run was best for
Danny.
The two sat together now on the lanai at Steve’s house on Aina Haina. Dan had been ‘paroled’ for
the weekend from the center by Bergman and was spending it with McGarrett. Steve
had taken the whole weekend off. News
that had shocked Dan when he heard it but the only explanation Steve had
offered was that he was making up for ‘lost time’. Dan was surprised by the reasoning but didn’t say anything.
“Danno, look this may
not be the time to bring this up, but I’ve got to ask. Why didn’t you ever tell me
what was going on?”
Dan sighed, as he
knew the subject was going to come up at some point. He just wasn’t sure
he was ready to deal with the discussion yet.
“What can I say, Steve? I didn’t see the point at first. I was sure there wasn’t going to be anything
wrong.”
“What about after the
diagnosis? Once you knew something was
wrong.”
“I tried, but I just
couldn’t tell you, Steve. I guess I just
didn’t want you to worry.”
Dan’s voice faded
off, knowing that whatever excuses he came up with weren’t
going to be good enough when face to face with Steve. He knew he owed him a better explanation than
what he could come up with but in truth he didn’t have
one.
“Danno – “
Steve looked over at
his friend and all of the emotions and worry he had felt during Dan’s coma came
back to him along with all of the many instances when one of them was guilty of
trying to protect the other. He had no
doubt that this was not the last time that Dan attempted to protect him from
something. After all that was a central
part of their friendship. The
friendship, no matter what little details were forgotten,
would always be their priority.