Things Forgotten

 

By

AS

 

 

PG-13 for emotional intensity

 

 

 

“Three weeks and counting,” Chin’s long suffering comment as he entered the office with Duke Lukela close at his heels.  Duke’s response was a slight nod.  Both detectives had been with the team a long time and knew that the planning and subterfuge that had already probably been quietly started would be on the front burner from this point on.  Duke glanced in the cubicle nearest McGarrett’s office, a little surprised to find it empty.  He nudged Chin and pointed it out.

 

“Man, I know Danny always goes all out with these birthday plans. But he better shake it and get in here or he’s gonna have some major pilikia to deal with as well as birthday plans.”

 

As if on cue, the office door opened and Danny Williams walked in.  Heading to his own office, he accidentally bumped into the corner of the secretary’s desk.  This earned him a little good natured ribbing from Duke who couldn’t help himself.

 

“Hey Danny – aren’t you getting a bit old for the late night routine and barely making it to work on time?”

 

Dan turned confused.  He wasn’t sure what Duke meant.  But before he could question him, Chin cut in.

 

“Out late?  No, it’s called birthday planning too late into the night and too early this morning probably.  Going to get the boss good this year, aren’t you?”

 

Williams was saved from answering by the sudden arrival of Steve McGarrett as the door opened and the taller, dark haired man blew through the front office.  He spared a glance at his three detectives and an eyebrow went up.

 

“Nothing to do this morning?”

 

In lieu of a reply, Chin ducked into his cubicle, intent on at least appearing to be busy lest the boss find something that would occupy way more of his time than he wanted.  Duke moved a little slower to his office as he wanted to see if Steve was suspicious of whatever Danny was planning.  Just at the door to his office, Steve turned.

 

“Danno, come on in here when you’ve got a minute.”

 

“Sure, Steve.”

 

McGarrett’s reasoning for wanting Williams in his office to talk was two-fold, business and personal.  There were cases that he needed to go over with his second in command, but even more importantly, he needed to try to ferret out clues as to what Williams was planning this year in regards to his birthday.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to find out much, if anything.  However, he needed to try anyway.   Once Williams joined him, Steve pursued the birthday questioning first.  As was expected, Dan played wide-eyed innocent and Steve shook his head in mock frustration.  He would never let Danno know, but over the years he had come to anticipate and enjoy the celebrations that his friend engineered.  Well at least he knew he did not have that much longer to wait to find out what the plot was this year. 

 

 

****

 

“GGGGRRRRRRR.” 

 

Williams was irritated and growing even more so later in the day as he sat in his office trying to wrap up the paperwork on the latest Christmas bandit.  It wasn’t the case he was frustrated with. They had been able to crack this one fairly quickly, holding down the number of victimized holiday shoppers.  No, the subject of his irritation was the headache that had plagued him through out the day.  He knew he had probably already surpassed the alleged limit on aspirin but he needed to do something to get rid of it. 

 

“Well I see at least this time you’re paying the price for burning the candle at both ends the last couple of days, Danno.”  Steve McGarrett couldn’t help the joking comment as he leaned against the doorframe of Dan’s office, a small grin flashing across his face.

 

“Whoever said anything about burning the candle at both ends?  Can’t a guy simply have a headache without everyone he knows jumping to conclusions?”

 

The annoyed retort surprised McGarrett, put him on the defensive.  “Hey I was just joking.  What put you in a mood?”

 

Williams swallowed the pills by themselves, grimacing a little at the awful taste they left in his mouth.  He opened a desk drawer and threw the pill bottle into it before answering McGarrett.  

 

“Had a headache since I got up.  Gets to you after a while, you know?”  Dan glanced up.  He knew Steve could relate to headaches considering the stress he endured as head of Five-O.  Yet he was also cognizant of the thought that he should not have snapped at his friend.  “Sorry, Steve.  I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

 

McGarrett waved him off, assuring that the apology wasn’t necessary.  “Thought I’d see if you wanted to get some dinner.”

 

“Thanks for the offer. But actually I just want to go home and go to bed for the next week or so.”

 

McGarrett’s brow furrowed.  This was not something he had expected and was very out of character for his friend.   “Are you getting sick?”

 

Williams insisted he was fine, just tired.  Worn out actually, but he would never admit that to McGarrett.  He was positive there was nothing wrong.  Just an overdose of all of the stress that usually went with the approaching holidays.  Yet when he finally got home that night and lay down, he was surprised at the way the world seemed to spin around him.  He didn’t normally think about it, but maybe he was getting sick.  He decided to wait a few days before he did anything about it.

 

For McGarrett, Dan’s refusal on dinner meant that he had to scramble to cancel previously made plans.  The dinner invite had been an excuse to get Dan to where the rest of the staff was waiting.  After Dan left, McGarrett went back to his office and made several phone calls – the main one being to the restaurant.  He ended up speaking to Duke who was amazed that Danny had simply wanted to go home.  He questioned whether or not Danny was trying to circumvent the birthday celebration.  Steve had to admit that he wasn’t sure, but that it did not appear that way.  Restless, McGarrett moved to the lanai and then back by his desk.  Finally, he reached for his jacket and slipped it on.  As he reached to switch off the desk lamp, his eyes fell on the calendar.  Not wanting to give too much away this year, in the evening part of the day he had simply written the letter ‘D’ there.  Now he tapped it with his finger. 

 

Hauoli la hanau, aikane,” he whispered as he turned out the light. 

 

 

****

 

Danny slammed the apartment door shut behind him, frustrated with himself.  He’d felt fine when he had first gotten out of bed this morning.  But by the time he had returned from jogging with Steve and gotten ready for work his head was pounding and his right leg felt strangely numb.  By mid afternoon, he had felt like a complete klutz as he tripped over a few objects that no one but he could see.  Then the proverbial icing on the cake as McGarrett decided that, since it was fairly quiet, it was a good day to run through preliminary re-qualifying at the shooting range.  The pistol had been so heavy in his hand and his score showed that there had been problems.  Steve had looked at him questioningly but seemed to accept his lame explanation.  His hand trembled and felt weak for the remainder of the day – a fact that he had barely been able to hide from McGarrett.  Weary to the bone, he collapsed on the sofa, not even bothering to open the lanai doors as he usually did.  Two days prior when he had snapped at McGarrett over his headache he had silently decided to call a doctor if he still felt ill in a few days.  He drifted off to sleep after deciding that he needed to call a doctor in the morning.

 

 

****

 

He ran down the steps of the office building to the parking lot.  Steve was going to be in a rage when he finally got to the Palace.  But then he had not expected the doctor’s appointment to take as long as it had.  That was what he got for not going to Doc Bergman.  Yet he had picked this unknown doctor because he wasn’t Bergman, wasn’t in any way affiliated with Five-O, did not have a chance of knowing McGarrett personally or telling him that his second in command had been in to see him before Williams was ready to tell him himself.  Not having seen too many doctors outside of Bergman for the past several years, Dan had been surprised by the length of time, amount of questions & tests the doctor had asked and done.  He hadn’t seemed very concerned about anything though so now all Dan had to do was wait for the results to come in sometime during the next seventy-two hours.  Well, he figured he had waited almost four days since the start of the headaches so he shouldn’t be too uptight over waiting another seventy-two hours to find out their cause.  He got in his car and hurriedly set out for the Palace.

 

McGarrett sat at his desk working his way through a pile of paperwork.  Outwardly, he appeared to be nothing more than the calm efficient paper-pusher he felt he spent most of his time being.  On the inside, on this morning he was like an ancient Irish clansman with the fire of his temper burning bright inside his gut.  It was now approaching eleven o’clock and still no sign of or word from his second in command.  Ordinarily that would have caused the hair to stand up on the back of Steve’s neck.  However, Five-O was not currently involved in any high profile, dangerous investigations and he had received no word of any prison breaks.  While that did not immediately rule out the thought of something happening to Williams it also allowed McGarrett the rare luxury of not frantically worrying about his friend’s safety if not his very life. 

 

A knock sounded on his office door and in walked Williams at a fairly quick pace.

 

“Sorry, Steve.  Had an appointment early this morning that took way longer than I thought it would.

 

“Everything all right?” 

 

McGarrett forced his voice to be calm and level.  This was not the time for what might be an unnecessary confrontation.   He observed Danny as unobtrusively as one cop could another.  There did not appear to be cause for concern.

 

“Sure – as far as I know anyway.” 

 

Lord, he hoped there was nothing wrong.  For now, he would keep his concerns to himself.  One of them worried at a time was more than enough!  Plus he did not want the constant worry and questions that telling McGarrett would net him.  Over the years the head of Five-O had become Dan’s closest friend, a relationship with emotions that he knew Steve reciprocated.  However while having your boss also as your best friend had a few advantages, the biggest disadvantage was Steve’s tendency to ‘flip out’ whenever Danny faced a dangerous situation or was injured.  He would do anything to circumvent that concern.   Although he wasn’t sure what would be worse – having his friend worry about him or the wrath he would incur when Steve learned of the secret he kept.  He’d take the chance and cross his fingers that there would end up being no reason for the revelation.

 

McGarrett succinctly brought his second in command up to date with the goings on of the morning, but the phone rang before he had a chance to ask for an update from him.

 

“Yes, Lani – ok tell the chief we’ll be there shortly.”

 

He stood and blindly reached behind him to grab his suit jacket off its hook.  Starting around the desk, he motioned for Williams to join him as they went to the crime scene of yet another holiday bandit.

 

****

 

 

Barely forty-eight hours later and in pursuit of yet another holiday criminal, McGarrett and Williams entered the Palace at a quick pace.  Danny found he had to practically run up the stairs to keep up with the steam-rolling boss.  Annoyance made Steve even faster paced than usual but it was understandable.  The bandit had struck again early in the morning right under the watchful noses of HPD.  McGarrett already knew that the press was going to have a field day with this case.  That would mean only one thing – heat from above.  It was something he was used to but not something he liked.

 

They entered Five-O’s offices and started towards McGarrett’s office.  As they passed by the other offices, Steve called to Duke and Chin Ho to join them.  Lani stopped the men as they started to pass her desk, handing a couple of messages to Steve and one to Dan.

 

“The woman acted like this was important, Danny.”

 

He glanced quickly down at the paper and noticed the name and phone number of the doctor’s office. His brow furrowed as he wondered what the doctor wanted this time.   Shoving it into his pocket, he endured the hoots and snickers of his co-workers as they relentlessly teased him.  Looking over at McGarrett, Dan saw an eyebrow arch and a questioning look appear on his face.  He knew that too much had been going on of late with what this doctor expected from him.  He would need a plausible explanation soon if he wanted to avoid the jokes from Chin and Duke as well as endless friendly interrogation from Steve.  He wasn’t sure which one he was more anxious to avoid.

 

“Can it wait?”

 

“Sure, Steve.”

 

“Then let’s go, gentlemen.”

 

 

****

 

 

The next morning Dan’s phone rang in his apartment just as he was preparing to leave for the Palace. 

 

“Mr. Williams, this is Leahi Hospital calling to confirm your appointment at ten-thirty this morning for a CAT scan.”

 

Caught off guard, Dan was unsure how to react until he remembered he had never called the doctor’s office back the previous day.  This must have been what they had wanted to talk to him about.  He wondered what it was for and why, now wishing he had put Steve off long enough to return the call.   For some unknown reason, he found himself stuttering as he explained that there was no way he could be there at that time.  Fortunately the person on the other end of the phone was extremely accommodating and was able to change the time to four-thirty in the afternoon.  He assured her that he would be there for the appointment at the same time he silently wondered what he was going to tell McGarrett this time. 

 

Late that evening, Dan opened the door to his apartment, completely exhausted.  It had been over thirteen hours since he had left it that morning.  Somedays he wondered why he bothered with the monthly rent.  It would be cheaper to somehow store a mattress at the Palace.  Stumbling as he moved into the living room, he shed his suit jacket, laying it on the closest chair.  He thought about food, realizing he had not eaten anything since grabbing an early lunch.  In the same instant he acknowledged that he really wasn’t hungry.  Three days – that’s how long the technician at the hospital said it would take before the test results were back.  He knew he was too weary to worry about much of anything at the moment.  Walking into his bedroom, stumbling a bit because it felt like he was losing feeling in his leg, Dan collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. 

 

 

****

 

 

Danny sat in the doctor’s actual office this time, not one of the examining rooms.  As he waited he thought back to the phone call he had made to the Palace early this morning.  Steve had not been very happy with the news that he would be running late because of a last minute appointment.  Williams had not told him what kind of an appointment it was but had promised the boss that he would explain it all later as well as make up for all of the missed time. It was now four days after the CAT scan and he hoped this appointment would be the end of the mess of all of the half-truths he had been forced to tell.  He did not know how much longer he could keep the truth hidden from Steve, Chin and Duke.  For his part, McGarrett had simply reiterated that he needed his second in command in the office as soon as possible so that they could go over ideas for nabbing the latest holiday bandit to aggravate his ulcers.  

 

Finally, the doctor entered and moved to sit down behind his desk.  He picked up a manila file folder, studying it carefully for several minutes. 

 

“Well, Mr. Williams, the test results are all back, including the emergency ones we had you come in for yesterday.  You have what we call meningiomas.

 

“In English, Doctor, please.”  Unconsciously, Danny rubbed at his hairline, trying in vain to ease the headache that had again woke him up during the night.  It had intensified as the hours passed and he knew it would only get worse throughout the day.

 

“A brain tumor.”

 

Danny sat there, stunned into muteness, unable to react, not knowing how to.  Tumors – people usually died from those.  He briefly wondered if he was about to be given his own death sentence and thought about how much time he might have left. How was he going to explain THIS to Steve?  The question leaped into his mind.  He found he could not answer it.  His head now also pounded from the thumping of his heart.

 

“Now the good news is that from the placement of yours, we believe that it can be completely removed with surgery.  There is, of course, always some risk with brain surgery, though so you need to carefully think about all of the…”

 

Danny stopped listening.  A brain tumor, surgery, risks, alternatives…

 

“I need to go.  I’m late for a meeting.”

 

“Mr. Williams, there are many things we still need to discuss. “

 

“No, I’m late as it is.  I need to think about this.  I’ll call you tomorrow with a decision.”

 

The doctor was aghast.  This was typically not a reaction that he saw in most of his patients.  Didn’t this man realize he had very few options available?  Didn’t he hear him tell him that the surgery had already been scheduled?  Didn’t he understand that there were other decisions that needed to be made, forms that needed to be completed before the surgery, before the tumor got worse and he was unable to make a conscious decision if it came to that?  Hurriedly the doctor wrote out several prescriptions, explaining what they were for – pain relief, anti-inflammatory, and seizure medicine if it came to that point.

 

Completely unnerved, Dan grabbed the small pieces of paper and fled the room. 

 

Arriving at the Palace, he encountered the glowering face of Steve McGarrett.  Yet shock still insulated his thoughts and emotions so he did not react the way he normally would have to Steve’s Irish temper. In fact he had nearly no response at all to the boss – a detail that was not lost on McGarrett but simply filed away to be discussed at a later time.  Danny, Duke and Chin Ho joined Steve in his office to discuss plans for nabbing the thief who had turned holiday shopping into a miserable experience for most of Honolulu.  Finally, Steve broached the subject that had been on his mind for most of the week.

 

“Gentlemen, we need to discuss who is going to handle Christmas – especially if we don’t get our hands on this guy before hand.”

 

Chin and Duke uneasily looked at each.  Neither one wanted to be on call that day, preferring instead to enjoy the holiday with their wives and children even if the children were nearly grown.  However both knew that it was not fair to put the entire burden of holiday coverage on the boss.  Steve routinely covered the holiday so that his two married detectives could enjoy the day and his second in command could fly east to visit his aunt if the caseload permitted. 

 

Williams, who had barely been paying attention throughout the meeting, focused on what he had heard the doctor say earlier about the surgery.  He thought about how he had said that the surgery was already scheduled for December Thirtieth.  He thought about the various prescriptions that he had been given, about how miserable he had been feeling and how he really just wanted to go and crawl under a rock for a few days.  Instantly he knew he would not be traveling anywhere this particular holiday.  Glancing at Steve, he realized how tired he looked and knew what he needed to do for his friend.

 

“I’ll cover it.”

 

“Danno –“

 

“No big deal to me.  I’m not going anywhere this year so you guys take the day off.”

 

McGarrett nodded in agreement and the other two sighed in relief.  Privately Steve wondered what had made his friend decide not to make the trip this year.  He’d have to remember to ask him about it later.  As busy as they seemed to be this year, he wasn’t sure when he would actually have the time to talk to his friend.  He hoped it was soon.  There was a certain lack of talkativeness about Danno suddenly.  His second in command usually waxed verbatim about any number of things.  Lately he never seemed to be around to talk after everyone left – a fact that was beginning to irritate McGarrett.

 

 

****

 

 

As the four men entered the office a collective sigh of relief could be heard.  The latest holiday bandit was finally in HPD lockup and just in the nick of time.   Last minute holiday shoppers and early revelers would be safe from the annoyance.  Entering McGarrett’s office, each man collapsed in to a chair.  No one said a word.  Each knew the relief that everyone felt.  Finally Steve spoke, telling the team to go home.  No one argued with the boss.  Chin and Duke left quickly before he could change his mind.  Steve glanced at Dan who was still sitting on the sofa. 

 

“In a hurry?”

 

Williams shook his head in answer.

 

Steve slowly rose and walked over to the lanai doors, opening them.  “Join me?”

 

Danny reluctantly rose and followed him out to the lanai.  He leaned against the railing, silent, squinting his eyes in the slowly setting late afternoon sun.  McGarrett glanced over at his second in command. Danno had been so quiet all day it was almost unnerving to McGarrett.  He found himself not sure how to start a conversation with his friend. 

 

“Well I guess another one bites the dust so to speak.”

 

Williams made a noise in response as he wondered how soon he could get out of the office and go home.  The last several days had exhausted him; his leg felt like it was growing number each day and his arm trembled uncontrollably whenever he was not consciously trying to control it. 

 

Steve shifted, turning to face his friend.  He strove for a conversational tone, to not sound like he was interrogating Danny.  “So what made you decide to work Christmas?  You know if you want, you could still go visit Clara and I’ll cover the day.”

 

“I said I’d do it.” 

 

Dan briefly regretted his short terse response, knowing it was unnecessary and also likely to get Steve to start asking questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.  He had resolved to not tell Steve what was going on until it became an absolute necessity.  Snapping at his friend unnecessarily was not the way to hide what was wrong.  It would only serve to fuel McGarrett’s insatiable curiosity – not something Dan wanted to spark.  Explaining things to Steve – Dan shuddered every time he tried to think of a way to do it, which was why he was attempting to deal with this particular issue without the support of his closest friend. 

 

Momentarily, startled by the abruptness of the reply, Steve at first did not know how to respond and then found that he needed to quell his surging irritation.  Danno never had the attitude with him that he was showing of late. What was going on? All he had wanted to do was give him the option of leaving town and if Williams still insisted on covering the day, then he had planned on arranging something so that they could celebrate the holiday together.  Not normally a sentimental person, he simply blamed his mood on the season.  However a little voice in his head told Steve that he needed to proceed very calmly and carefully.

 

“Sounds like it’s going to be a pretty quiet day.  What are you going to do?”

 

“Haven’t thought about it.  No big deal anyway – just another day.” 

 

Williams barely knew the specifics of what they were talking about, did not realize that he had snapped out a reply.  All he could concentrate on was the nausea that had suddenly cropped up.  He knew he needed to get out of the office soon.  His headache was severe enough that it made his eyes hurt.  Lately, because of the long hours he worked his vision had not been the best – blurring at times, causing him to see double at other times.  He did not remember the doctor mentioning the complication. 

 

Annoyed beyond any measure of control, McGarrett lost his temper.  What is going on with you lately?  It’s like you don’t care about anything. Or at least that’s the way you’re acting.”

 

Steve instantly regretted lashing out at Danny.  It was not something that either one normally did to the other.  Both understood the pressure involved in their jobs and usually gave each other a lot of leeway when it came to stress, habitually going out of their way to avoid an emotional eruption with each other, even though both knew that it was possible to do so and have the other understand where it was coming from. 

 

“Maybe I don’t,” Dan’s quick comeback was as angry as the question had been.  “Maybe I just want you to leave me alone for once.” 

 

Dan’s voice was both aggravated and resigned.  His fists gripped the railing before he turned and stormed back into the office, tripping over who knows what as he walked.  He was SO tired. He wanted only to go home and take one of those magic little pills that knocked him out to where he did not feel his head hurt.  He heard the angry footsteps behind him and sighed, nearly falling yet again over probably nothing. 

 

A hand reached out to grab his arm, breaking his fall.  The hand moved across his shoulders, gripping them and holding him steady until he could pretend to have regained his balance.  Instinctively, he leaned into the support of that hold and felt it grow tighter, surer.

 

“What’s wrong, Danno? Can I help? ”

 

Watching Williams trip not once but twice had started bells of worry clanging in his head. The anger he had felt a few minutes prior dissipating as he felt his friend not only accept but lean into the support he offered.  The hair was starting to rise on the back of McGarrett’s neck.  He had an eerie feeling that something was wrong – very wrong.  When he had first tripped, Steve had instinctively started after him.  Dan tripping for a second time caused Steve to practically lunge to grab him, helping to hold him steady for several seconds.

 

The voice sounded very close behind him.  The sudden softness of the tone made Dan pause briefly as the questions tickled something in his mind, a memory.  Not remembering why he knew, Williams knew that any other time he would have caved in to the soft questioning and offer of assistance.  This time his physical discomfort and growing fear of what was about to happen over rode all of it.  He honestly did not know what was causing him to act so irrationally – especially towards his friend.  Not bothering to answer, just wanting to go home, Danny pulled away and, without another word walked out of Steve’s office and left the Palace.

 

Confused at what was going on with his second in command, McGarrett returned to the lanai.  He observed Williams walking in the parking lot below and stumble, nearly falling.  Saw him reach out a hand and steady himself against the Mercury.  Briefly, he wondered what was going on but decided that whatever it was had more to do with the holiday stress then anything else.  If Danno was still this argumentative and obnoxious after the New Year, then the two of them would need to have a very long chat.  There was no way that McGarrett would allow dissension in the ranks – not on his team.  Not from his second in command, his friend.  For the present, he grudgingly decided to let Williams have the space and solitude he apparently wanted. 

 

 

****

 

 

“Happy Christmas Eve, everyone!”

 

The call from the doorway turned several heads.  Faces broke out in spontaneous smiles and the detectives, including the normally taciturn boss, rushed forward to greet the visitor.

 

“Jenny!”

 

“Knew you couldn’t stay away, Jenny.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Jenny.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Steve.  So does anyone miss me?”

 

“I do!”  Lani’s instant response drew chuckles from the three men in the room.

 

The small holiday gathering was merrier with Jenny’s surprise visit.  Even McGarrett found himself staying in the outer office longer than normal.  Finally the staff began to drift away to their own celebrations.  Soon it was just the three men and Jenny remaining.  She broached the subject that had been on her mind since shortly after her arrival.

 

“Ok, what did you three do with Danny this year?”

 

She was surprised to watch the men’s facial expressions all change.  Chin’s face had become inscrutable and Duke was unable to hide the ire that had been burning and building in him for several days.

 

“We didn’t do anything to him, Jenny.  He hasn’t been around much lately.”

 

Jenny looked carefully at both Chin Ho and Duke.  She knew they weren’t kidding but was surprised to see a lack of concern in their faces. Instead, she saw mild irritation.  She turned to Steve and stared at him for a few minutes.  McGarrett’s expression was blank, carefully neutral and bordering on nearly cold.  Even his eyes held no expression or feeling in them. 

 

“Steve?”

 

“Don’t worry about it.  He’s a grown man, Jenny.  I don’t think he needs a mother – or anyone else for that matter.” 

 

The last part of his reply was a flippant whisper that was not supposed to be heard by the others in the room.  However from the look on his former secretary’s face, Steve knew she had heard.  He strove to assure her that there was nothing to worry about.  She found herself appalled at the lack of concern she was witnessing.  What had happened to the team in her absence?  More importantly, what had happened to the nucleus, the glue that had held the team, the whole office, together for so many years?  What had happened to the friendship between McGarrett and Williams? 

 

 

****

 

 

The irritating ring of the phone roused Williams from a half sleep.  He glanced at his watch before answering – almost noon. 

 

“Williams”

 

“Danny, its Aunt Clara.  Merry Christmas!”

 

He nearly groaned out loud, not really wanting to talk to her at the moment.  Fortunately, she had very busy social calendar for the day but wanted to call since he had not been able to make the trip over as per the norm.  She hoped he wasn’t working that hard.  Danny assured her that he wasn’t and then promised that he was not spending the day alone as she feared.  He was getting together later in the afternoon with McGarrett.  She couldn’t stop from commenting that she hoped it was for some relaxation and not for work.  She hung up shortly after that.

 

Danny ended up getting what he wanted for Christmas – a very quiet day with no interruption from work.  Thankful for that, he never left the apartment.  It would not have been a very smart idea.  He spent the day on the sofa experiences growing waves of dizziness and nausea, had even gone as far as taking an extra pain pill as well as the anti-seizure drug that had been prescribed.  He drifted in and out of sleep for most of the day, dreaming disembodied scenes that made no sense to his muddled, drugged mind.

 

Steve let the phone fall back onto its cradle, perplexed.  He’d already spoken with dispatch earlier in the afternoon and had known it was a very quiet day – so quiet that Williams had not gotten a single call.  That meant he should have been home, should have answered the phone.  Unless, of course, he had gone out for some holiday cheer but a quick call back to HPD confirmed that the Five-O second in command had not changed his contact number for the afternoon.  That meant he was home.  Then why didn’t he answer the phone? 

 

McGarrett moved out to the lanai, impatiently snapping his fingers.  He knew in his gut that something was wrong, had been wrong with Danno for a while now.  With the knowledge that Williams did not think it necessary to share whatever was bugging him came both ire and amusement.  The ire was automatic.  Its roots buried deep in years of friendship and the incredulous thought that Danny apparently didn’t trust him.  McGarrett argued the thought down, knowing that the truth was probably simpler than that.  He knew his second in command well.  Williams was never able to keep a secret from him for long except of course his yearly surprise parties.  Steve grinned a little to himself, amused at the elaborate ruses his friend managed to concoct each year.  Soon enough this year’s schemes would be revealed and/or Danno would spill whatever was currently bugging him.  He fought down a building urge to drive over to Danno’s place to simply check on him and see for himself that everything was fine.  Finally, Steve leaned back in his chair, somewhat content to simply enjoy his island paradise.

 

 

****

 

Williams walked out of the office.  It was the day after Christmas – even though he had been on call he had been able to sleep most of the day.  Then why had he been SO tired all day?  The enormity of what was about to happen in a few days weighed heavily on his mind.  In fact it was all he could think about.  Funny how none of the people upstairs in that office thought there was anything wrong.  Not even his closest friend thought there was something wrong.  He did not think he was hiding it THAT well. 

 

“Danny, wait.”

 

He turned and saw Duke coming down the stairs of the Palace.  Wondering what Duke wanted, Dan hoped it wasn’t something too involved.  The stress of the last several days was beginning to catch up with him.  He was tired, wanted nothing more than to lay down, and for some reason his right leg felt weak as if it could no longer support his weight. 

 

“Just wanted to know if you needed Chin and me to do something for the thirtieth this year.  Or do you have everything under control? “ 

 

‘The thirtieth?”  Briefly Dan feared that the detective knew what was going on but then realized that there was something else happening that the Hawaiian was referring to. 

 

“You know, “Duke continued.  “I don’t know who looks forward to this day more – you or Steve!”

 

Dan sighed.  He had no idea what Lukela was talking about.  Although with the stress of the anticipation he supposed that he really would be glad when the thirtieth was over. 

 

“You know, you and Chin keep talking about the 30th and looking at me like something is going on and I really wish I knew WHAT you were talking about.”  The angry tone of Dan’s retort had been on purpose.  He was completely sick of the way his ‘friends’ thought they knew what was going on and in a self pitying spurt, wished someone would explain what the 30th meant as well as actually care enough to coerce an explanation out of him. 

 

Duke stared, stunned into near silence by the tone of Dan’s reply.  As Dan moved to his car, he tripped over what must have been a rock, but Duke couldn’t see it.  Before Duke could ask if everything was all right, Dan got into the car and drove away.  Several seconds later, Lukela was joined near the stairs by Chin Ho Kelly.  Duke turned and told Chin that he had spoken to Dan and had a feeling that there was nothing planned for the thirtieth. 

 

“Danny always plans something for Steve’s birthday!”

 

“Doesn’t sound like he’s doing it this year, Chin.”

 

“Well I wish we would have known that before now.  Kind of hard to plan something to top what he usually does on this short of notice.  Why didn’t he say something?” 

 

Duke assured Chin that he really had no idea what was going on but then commented that Dan was acting very strangely.  Chin agreed that he too had noticed the strange behavior and then suggested that maybe it was a ruse to cover birthday plans.

 

“Not this year, I fear.”

 

****

 

 

Late the next afternoon, Danny sat in his office knowing that he could not put off the inevitable any longer.  He’d been avoiding the office since he got back from the doctor late this morning.  He’d known from the way Lani had acted when he came in that Steve wasn’t happy with his hastily scribbled note from the previous evening that he would be in before lunch today. 

 

She had confided that McGarrett had questioned her for reasons and had not been happy that she had not known where he was and why.  Lani had neglected to mention that the boss had also asked if anything strange had been going on of late.  But it wasn’t like she would have been revealing anything.  She had told Steve that she had not noticed anything unusual but then what was she?  Their secretary?  Or their babysitter?  It wasn’t up to her to keep track of their comings and goings and what was going on in their lives outside of the office.  Jenny might have been a mother hen but she certainly wasn’t.  Yet Lani had not mentioned any of that to McGarrett or Williams.  She was too professional for that.  She had simply forewarned Williams to expect a lecture or questions at some point in time. 

 

Now Dan was in his office – everyone else had already left for the day but he remained.  His objective was two-fold.  First he needed to catch up on as much of the ongoing paperwork on his desk as possible.  Second he had finally decided that he could no longer put off telling Steve what had been going on the past several weeks.  He needed to in order to fully explain the contents of the envelope he intended to give to McGarrett. 

 

So engrossed in his thoughts as he stared blindly down at the papers on his desk, he never heard the door open in the office until a shadow crossed his desk.  He looked up and at Steve McGarrett, noting a not very pleased expression on the boss’ face.

 

“Hi, Steve.”

 

“Here kind of late, aren’t you?  Or are you just making up for some of the time you’ve been missing of late?”

 

Dan winced at the tone of the voice.  He’d known the subject of his morning absences would eventually come up, but he had wanted to be the one to bring them up. 

 

“I wanted to talk to you about that.”

 

An eyebrow arched up nearly to the dark hairline.  “Really?”

 

Uh-oh – Dan thought to himself.  Steve was really upset about it.  He had not planned on that.  He’d kept Steve in the dark about what was going on because he had not wanted him to worry, to go into his ballistic, insanely over protective mode the way he sometimes did.  Perhaps he had been wrong.  He knew instantly that he needed to level with his friend – tell Steve everything that had been going on since the beginning of the month without sugar coating a detail.  For reasons that he could not define, he again felt abject fear over the notion of telling Steve.  As he considered the option, Dan felt his stress level start to climb.

 

“Yeah, I…”

 

He stopped.  His head was starting to pound again.  He’d noticed it now happened with growing regularity.  His hand was starting to tremble also.  Three days – he only had to make it three more days!  Placing his hand underneath the desk, he glanced at Steve.  The darkness of the blue eyes meant the Irish temper was up.  He sighed, knowing there was little he could do to prevent an eruption, deciding quickly that he could not tell Steve the truth tonight.  Briefly he wondered if he would ever be able to tell him.

 

“Never mind, Steve.”

 

McGarrett’s anger calmed a bit at the resigned, nearly morose tone in Dan’s voice. Other alarms began to ring inside of him instead.  He could not figure out why the hair was practically standing up on the back of his neck.  He abruptly forced down the ire over what he saw happening over the last month and struggled to verbally reach out towards his second in command.

 

“Danno, look, if something’s going on and you need some time –“

 

“Everything’s shaka, Steve.  It won’t happen again.”  Dan cut him off, suddenly anxious for the entire train of thought to disappear.

 

“Ok.  Night Danno,” Steve nodded and left the office.

 

The nagging doubt that something was wrong sang like an annoying alarm clock in his head.  He pushed it down.  Danno had said that everything was fine and Williams had never been able to keep a secret or hide almost any type of emotion from McGarrett.  He grinned a little in spite of himself. Besides he had a sneaking suspicion that whatever was going on with Williams had to do with his own approaching birthday.  Three days – it would all be over and he could find out what the plan had been in three more days.

 

 

****

 

 

McGarrett sat at his desk drumming his fingers on the file he was ‘working’ on.  Where was he?!  After ten o’clock in the morning and his second in command was not in the office yet!  Both of his cars had been at the apartment when Steve had stopped by to see if he planned on jogging but there had been no answer when Steve had rang the door bell.  Now with Williams running late yet again, he had to admit that he was more than a little frustrated with the new attitude and the prevalent lack of respect for the job, the team, the stature of Five-O and, grudgingly he admitted to himself, Dan’s sudden lack of respect for Steve. 

 

A knock at his door preceded Duke’s entrance into the office.  Steve forced himself to pay attention to the Hawaiian detective.  Still irritated, he watched Duke walk out of the office and then reached over and picked up the phone, dialing a number from memory.  It rang several times before there was the sound of something falling or being knocked down at the other end.  His fingers drummed an ever-quickening pattern on the desktop.  Finally –

 

“-lo…”

 

“Danno!  Do you KNOW what time it is?”  Steve’s patience was being severely tested. 

 

ate?”

 

“No, not eight – try after eleven AM.  Did you plan on joining us today?”

 

There was a long pause.  In his mind’s eye, McGarrett could picture his second in command processing both the words and the tone, coming to the realization that Steve was seriously upset and he was in trouble. 

 

ow m ay”  The mumbled response. 

 

Irish temper boiling, he didn’t reply but simply tossed the handset back on its cradle.  He briefly wondered if Dan had been out late the previous evening.  His voice had sounded strange, like he was having difficulty speaking.  Rather than alarm him, the thought only fueled his rage as he assumed that the scuttlebutt of Dan’s new girlfriend that he had heard around the office was correct.

 

A short time later, Dan arrived but stayed as far away from McGarrett as possible.  The two men barely spoke for most of the afternoon.  Lukela and Kelly left the office early, each coming up with a plausible excuse for the boss.  Both were on their way to different areas of town as they scrounged together a birthday party for the boss.  It had been Duke’s idea, one that Chin had fought at first.  He had been certain that Danny was planning something and did not even want to let them in on it this year, but Lukela was adamant.  He was as certain that there were no plans in motion and they, at least, had to come up with something so as not to make it seem like the birthday had been completely forgotten.

 

Dan approached Steve’s office, envelope in hand this time instead of in his jacket.  It was now or never he had decided.   He knocked on the closed door and entered, finding Steve at his desk working his way through a seemingly endless amount of paperwork. 

 

“Got a minute, Steve.”

 

“Not much more than that.  What’s up?”  McGarrett heard Williams enter the office but forced himself to not look up.  He did not want to admit to even himself how much Williams’ new attitude and habits were bothering –no, how much they hurt him.  Maybe if he could appear busy…

 

“I wanted to talk to you about yesterday – and this morning.”

 

“Yesterday.  Would that be the promis